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a beautiful bouquet of pictures …

June 17, 2015

Luv Mallu pictures over even Tamil seriously, and I remain a huge fan of Mamooty, my evergreen hero over even Kamal Hassan. Delighted to find this list:

http://www.plumeriamovies.com/10-new-wave-malayalam-movies-that-will-make-you-fall-in-love-with-malayalam-cinema/

What film making is all about, how to tell a story, how not to overact – these are but a few valuable lessons one can learn from southern movie industry. Every single film in the list is a gem.

Can’t help adding this Mamooty song from Tamil film ‘Azhagan’ (beautiful man):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M6HZP5IMRRQ

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Yes, I have heard of this earlier:

http://www.thehindu.com/opinion/op-ed/coming-south-in-search-of-a-bride/article7322622.ece?homepage=true

My best friends are from Kerala who grew up in good old Madras though. And in middle-east I mix a lot with Kerala people. Can speak Mallu somewhat which is very similar to Tamil.

There is some miscalculation about Kerala at national level I guess.

For instance, Kerala literacy rate is almost cent percent but the no. of professionals or graduates it produces is a fraction of those produced in neighbouring states like TN or Karnataka. Also matriarchal families are something we can see only among Nayars and Menons, not among others. But I love their simplicity – in gulf Mallu ladies hardly own 4-6 sets of clothes that they wear evenly to both parties and family get-togethers unmindful of what others might think of them. They are honestly ignorant which is truly a bliss or better a blessing! And all communities celebrate national festivals like Onam, Diwali, Christmas or Eid together. Very few Indian groups do that. I like their unity.

Its generally believed Kerala women are bold & strong To some extent its true. But mostly in my experience I would say, its the Tamil women who are fiercely independent and this has nothing to do with our clothes.

Once I was in a party and someone said, ‘do not allow your wives to mingle with Madarasi ladies! they are family breakers, they are good at alienating their husbands from their parents/families!!!’

On the other hand I have seen most modern Delhi & Mumbai women in briefest tops & jeans & snazziest haircuts allowing their spouses & in-laws to abuse them.

In India, a totally wrong yardstick is used to measure women & their liberation: clothes & convent education. In truth, these have nothing to do with how we Indian women carry ourselves or how free or liberated we are.

We women in the south have been receiving/entitled to our fair share of family estates from even before there was a statute introduced to ensure us our legal rights. Some pockets however do remain backward. In the same Kerala, women also work without househelp/maid mostly as labour is expensive there. Domestic chores, office work, child raising, taking care of in-laws – women manage everything with very little help from men, Kerala women are multi-taskers all the way. One more reason for these hardworking women remaining unmarried upto 30 is, Kerala grooms are expensive whether they are drivers or machine-cutters, owing to gulf money.

Kerala’s problem is, women there outnumber men so families are desperate to get their daughters married quick.

In Syrian christian families I have seen how fathers struggle to get their daughters married to the right groom. A retired resident engineer from Thiruvananthapuram with 2 architect daughters could not find any satisfactory match for his ambitious daughters in their community and was open for matches from other faiths/groups. Now he has grandkids but last year he confided to us how he could not get along with any son-in-law as neither met with his expectations or his daughters’ caliber. It was a big compromise for the girls.

Similarly we have a tamil muslim family friend whose 2 daughters who were engineers could not be married off easily. Rare for a muslim man to ask his daughters to find love matches, but this father did. Still the daughters could not and finally the family reluctantly finalized their marriages with grooms from their own relative circles about whom they were not satisfied.

Marriage market is complicated in India. The issues are socio-economic. Only when our men start catching up with women when it comes to education, we can see better days.

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2 Comments
  1. I have bookmarked the list of movies. 🙂 The problems you are mentioning are now almost universal. Women are now so far ahead of the men that it has brought to fore a new set of sociological issues.

    • I think Mallu/Tamil pictures show reality notwithstanding a Rajnikanth & Chiranjeevi here & there! They portray the actual India.

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