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No Man Is Worth A Woman’s Self Respect

July 8, 2016

How to choose your guy?

No man is worth a woman’s self-respect. Staying single is better than being hitched into a relationship with a reluctant man. And no man is worth you if he should be paying attention to your manicured and painted nails, straightened hair and sense of dressing. Real men look deeper than that. Atleast that’s what life has taught me,a plain Jane, in nearly quarter a century. So if you think you can hook a man with mere vanity, you may be gazing at a mirage not truth.

I wonder why some women need men pampering. I guess very rarely I need it too but not always. The men in my family are no hearts and roses and chocolates men and have since conditioned me to expecting nothing romantic from them!!! But they are generous and kind and witty and I know that about them that I stopped being silly long back. The little girl in me does at time perk up her head especially on memorable occasions like birthdays and wedding days – and thanks to Facebook and Whatsapp, my men don’t anymore forget these days!

One wedding day years back I recall calling my husband from India and asking ‘what is special today?’ Remember this was before we had Facebook. And he promptly replied from middle-east, ‘Its O & M meeting day!’ Very recently my son proved he is nothing short of his ‘illustrious’ ‘no-frills’ father when I asked him what he was getting me from America. I bit my lips as it struck me such a thought probably never crossed my baby’s mind!!! He said, ‘Oh I have to now, is it?!’ and hurriedly later grabbed a ‘Gator’ tee for me from his campus on his way to airport! Free stuff ofcourse!

If you are a woman who looks to sit in ‘ladies seat’ in PTC buses in the city, you may be horrified. But I refuse to seek concessions in life because I am a woman so I get along. Its funny if I think about it. But one need not have to shout from the roof that he/she loves us – we both know it deep down our heart.

Little gifts, oh-no-nothing phone calls – some men are real miserly with small sweet gestures. Either they have no time or they are plainly embarrassed! Or they habitually forget (which is more likely the reason)! Grow up! Be offended for right reasons in life, not for trivial issues. Life is lot more than that.

I understand, the wooing period, the engagement period is the only time perhaps some Indian males can manage or pretend to be romantic! But life again these days is too very frustrating. Its man-eat-man world out there, a jungle where survival is for the fittest. How can a man keep thinking of you for 24 hours.

I have had male cousins who were not ready to commit easily – not because they did not love the girl they chose/chosen for them but because they were unsure of themselves. They needed more time, more financial security. They were worried for their future partners, the family they would be raising. They wanted to build their bases strong. A man’s dilly-dallying always need not have to about you. First stop feeling so self-important.

Next, men are hardly as verbal as us women. We women can spell out a thousand words in a jiffy and for that they can come out with a single syllable answer frustratingly. It simply means nothing. It is how they are programmed by their ‘Y’ chromosome!

It’s not your wedding that is important, but it is your marriage. You may or may not be your father’s princess, so who cares? It is who you are and what you mean to the men in your life who come further on – your husband, your son that matters.  A father’s love is unconditional. Not so with the new men/relationships who we acquire midway in the journey of our life. To gain their love and confidence, we need to work a lifetime hard and sincere but the rewards are worth waiting.

Some men have no hesitation about writing out cheques – they’re not bothered whether diamonds are your best friends or not. But they might surprisingly think of you and miss you in 5-star hotel dinners. They might want to share with your the first news of their pay increase. They might not want to see the world without you by their side. They may not text you morning and evening but they will be with you when and where exactly you need them.

They say women are not easy to understand, but if you ask me, it is men who are tougher to read!

A real man shows you respect when he respects your family, your friends, your wishes, your dreams; A real man takes cognizance of your efforts to make his life better.

It’s not a bad idea to wait for the right guy to come along. Someone who values you for what you are, what stuff you are made of. You  don’t have to work too hard to prove yourself to anyone.  The real man will not be blind to the kind of woman that you are.

Women who are above falling for petty guys will be able to spot honest men without nudging. Things will fall into place naturally.

To quote Paul Coelho,

“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”


If we are the kind of women for superficial men, chances are, we will invite exactly the same kind of shallow guys. But if we are women with substance, the right men will pick us out of the crowd just like that.

Move on with life, if he is not for you. No man is worth your self respect who you have to lose sleep over and sulk. All the same it is wise to bear in mind, a woman’s biological clock clicks fastest and loudest for the whole world to hear. We may learn to accept people for what they are. With their faults. Comes with maturity.


From → Bharatiya Naari

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