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Modesty Is In Our Mind

February 23, 2018

Authentic Pakistani Culture Thoo !

Just watched a tv interview of Reham Khan, the second wife of Imran Khan. Stunned to learn that she was divorced through a message (triple talaq) (never mind Reham herself was a second-hand with 3 kids I guess borne out of first marriage).

Pictures reveal the new third Mrs. Imran Khan draped head to foot with not even her face showing. From the interview, it looks like this shameless woman was happily married for 30 years to her first husband and is a mother of 5 kids.

Frequently you see barbs by these so called ‘puritans’ commenting on us Indian women, especially Hindu women. How many Hindu women will leave their family, husband to marry someone at this naani-daadhi age. Some of my friends are already grandmothers. One or two are widows. One rare friend is a divorcee. But a second marriage is out of question for my girls – the widow and the divorcee. It breaks my heart to think they will be all alone for the rest of their lives. The divorcee is single from her 30th year. Naughtiest among us. But is a fire when it comes to men in actual life. I learn from the women in my country, from my society, what it is to be a woman of character, how to be strong, how to be independent. Re-marriages are happening in India too finally, still it is a very negligible statistic. Honestly, i have felt my friends deserve a second chance. They are eligible, they have merit. Yet the way they deny themselves worldly pleasures and embrace lone life and celibacy with unwavering mind, makes me proud as well as aches my heart at the same time. They willingly adhere to unspoken/unwritten laws of our society: NOT ENFORCED BY HINDU RELIGION OR ANY SACRED TEXT. This is the beauty of my culture. Once you become a mother, that is what you are first.

But why make motherhood the measuring yardstick.

Take the wife/ex-wife of our PM Narendra Modi. Did the great lady marry again after he left her when she was not even 20 years? Yet didn’t she go ahead with her education and then retire as a school teacher?

A friend who is 40+ was taking a taxi in Dubai. She is childless but is happy with her husband. Looks like the driver who was a handsome guy, a Paki, was asking her casually about her family. When my friend said she had no kid, the guy turned to her and said it seems, ‘girls like you must leave these fellows and come to us, we shall take better care of you.’ My friend was shocked at this open invitation and she said, it showed what these men thought of us women in general.

There have been great grand mothers in our families who were widowed under 10 years who never remarried.

Very recently I attended the ‘Sadhabishegam’ of my aunt and uncle. My uncle turned 80 years on that occasion. The elderly couple wedded for almost 50 years, remarried each other for the third time in front of their children, grandchildren, friends and family. When my uncle turned 60, the couple had had their ‘Sashtiabdapurthi’ which is observed when a man turns 60 years. This is the second time a man repeats his marital vows with the same wife in our culture. Such is the respect Hindus bestow on the institution of marriage and husband and wife relationship. Not to be diluted so easily by SMS, Whatsapp, Phone call or Skype with just 3 words.

Further more, our girls socialize freely with men, clad comfortably in jeans and shorts and skirts, are definitely far and better academically qualified, contributing to national economy as working professionals etc., yet this bizarre thing of a mother of 5 who must be grandmother already or ready-to-be-granny marrying a 60+ man will never happen in our society, except may be in Bollywood and/or very rich, creamy and elitist circles like page 3 people or celebrities/stars.

Hindu couples live like albatrosses. India could be that rare country in the world where even most of our boys remain chaste until their marriage.

But then why must Pakis be any different from desert cults. In Malaysia, as I did witness with my own eyes, the fastest and cheapest girls were Malays and Indonesians – available easily for one-night stands. Its rarest to find a Malay virgin girl over 10-12 years. This was the case in 1997-2001. Remember, they still wore tudong, the head scarf!!! Culture?

Modesty, honour, respectability and dignity must be in our mind, not in our clothes. As far as I am concerned this 3rd missus of Imran Khan is actually naked in public. Emperor’s new clothes, yes! Dancing, singing, partying, donning the micro-minis, hanging out with boys – all these have nothing to do with one’s morality or ethics. Shame must be for right reasons. Or is shame applicable only to your sari pallu (nee dupatta pallu) that you can cover your head with?

If you feel shame for right reasons, you won’t feel shame for trivial ones. If you are modest in mind, the superficial farces won’t matter to you. When you are petty, you will feel shame for all wrong reasons just like this 3rd Mrs. Khan.

In Tamil we say, ‘malai pogiradhu theriyadhu, madu pogiradhu theriyum’ which means ‘it is not felt when the mountain moves, it is felt when the mound shakes.’ This is the difference between desi native Hindu culture and the imported desert culture.

Shameless woman. A woman can pass legally many hands for them, sleep with different men, begetting children sired by them: only thing that matters is: Cover yourself head to foot!!! Cover your head! Don’t sing, don’t dance, don’t wear jeans, don’t talk to guys, don’t come home late!!!

PS: Suppose Khan tires of her soon like he got tired of Reham, after sleeping with him, third Mrs. Khan may marry another old man next and consummate her marriage and then return to her first husband who would accept her back as a true gentleman because this kind of code of morality and ethics is sanctified by their scriptures proudly. Asli Pak culture. Note: Consummation mandatory for the mother of 5 with the third husband, in that case.

 

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From → Bharatiya Naari

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