Peers influence cannot be discounted even in middle-age. We may think we are immune to this virus, but friends affect our food choices, dressing styles, shopping patterns and even lifestyle, family ties and other relationships. If you have a circle of friends who are pious, you will expand your Puja. If you have a friend having a liquor cabinet bigger than puja at home, you will open a liquor bar at home because that is all you need to justify your crossing the boundary. Its okay some of us belong with NRI circle where its not strange for us women to clink a glass of wine for new year or anniversary dinners. But we stop right there, that is the point. We don’t let liquor run like a river at home. We stock half a dozen or even two dozen bottles but none of our men may take a small or large every evening, that is it. That is because THEY HAVE TO GO TO WORK NEXT MORNING. Our cache of alcohol is for gifting.
Why should I have to befriend a carpet showroom owner in the zumba just because she is rich. While other girls went and chitchatted with her, I stopped with a hi-bye that’s all. Did not even add her to my buddy list in social media. That kind of friendship just for the sake of ‘showing off your elite circle of friends’ is NOT for me. Its okay my friends are as clumsy as me! But I can barge into their home without a phone call and can expect to eat yummy wholemeal homecooked! These are all weather friends of mine. We have been with each other through highs and lows. Friends from school. It really flabbergasts me how some girls ‘choose’ to befriend and hang with ‘right friends with right connections.’ To have them in your buddy list must be something obviously! These restaurant people, business folks, showroom owners etc., etc., probably went to ‘right school’ attended ‘right college’ and are married to big businesses. They mix in right circles. Party at right places. Sic. Can’t imagine having friends for these reasons. Alliances are forged today looking at cars and bungalows and family estate – not at the family honour or name. Nobody wants strength of character. Gawdy cheap crassness most welcome if loaded with cash. The family weddings are now for showcasing the diamonds and the designer jewelry, nothing more. In the society I come from, the upper middle class ladies live for OTHERS not for their core values, not for themselves.
Since when serving meat or liquor became the norm of Hindu weddings. In contrast, see how brief the mantras are reduced to . Its not the wedding that matters. Its the marriage that is important. Frankly I prefer civil ceremonies these days. So what if the bride has crooked teeth. Since when dentals and nose jobs became part of Hindu weddings. Or even the Mehendi or Sangeeth. Pre nupital photo shoots. Only thing missing is pre-wedding divorce agreement which will also soon become the norm. Tax evaded is splashed, what else. That nobody cares is also lost on these show-offs.
Hats off to my simple friends who NEVER had any of these for their daughters. Not really simple – my friends are. Simple in the sense, grounded that’s all. All have middle class backgrounds. The kids are IITians and architects to medicos to royal chefs working in Australia, UK and USA. The boy who graduated from Stanford stood with just a garland by his bride’s side in Woodlands hotel for wedding reception. NO JEWELRY. Only glass bangles. And NO GIFTS. None of the nonsensical paraphernalia that now comes with the wedding package. You have to attend the simple muhurthams to understand how moving they could be. You truly feel the connection made by the God. Quiet moments. Old time old world leisureliness when the rituals are winding but interesting. Beautiful and so meaningful. Makes sense totally. The IQ of the bride and groom play a part here! My awkward friend who does not even do justice to proper sari wrap was greeted by an Australian in Melbourne who came up to her and told her she looked fabulous and AUTHENTIC in Indian attire. Originality wins hands down east or west. Even I got a similar complement on more than one occasion in the US when I was a Tussar silk top and silk trousers. Simplicity and no make-up no fuss, always is class like none other. Real people adore our natural selves.
The point of weddings is to feed guests well so that they BLESS the couple getting married. Same holds true for birthday parties. As far as I am concerned, a house becomes diviner not only with Pujas but also with more people eating at your table. If your house is off limits to your siblings and aged parents, then I have nothing to add. ‘Perusugal vaazhaadha veedugal, kadavulgal illadha kovilagal’ – I used to remember these lyrics when visiting my Zumba friends most of who would not entertain their aged parents/in-laws. If old people are with you, your value system will survive to next generation.
If possible cook with your own hands and serve with your own hands. I take a little help if I am on short break but if I am to be in India longer, i return to my kitchen. Cooking is therapeutic. Surround yourselves with friends who don;t brag about cooks, maids, drivers and gardeners. Doing our own work is something to be proud of. Walking on foot in hot sun in the dust and heat of India is what is healthy over getting dropped in chauffeur driven SUV. Its okay to get tanned. Again, we live in a society where those who live right are the ones who get ridiculed. We don’t grow in comfort zone. If you have not ventured into real world WITHOUT RECOMMENDATIONS and money support, then you have not lived your life at all.
We have to get our priorities right. Strength of character in our peer circle is extremely important. You cannot expect values from those who never pay with their debit/credit cards but would even pay 50 k to lakhs in cash – which means they are big time tax evaders. For middle class folks like me, these are dead giveaways. Value erosion starts happening right at restaurant or shopping mall for them where they take out their currency bundles.
I notice the way women treat their househelps. If someone has the habit of handling others’ phones you have to be careful about this one. Their generosity. How even they have their pujas laid out. The more antiquated your puja is, the more humane you are. When puja has to become a fashion parade to be redone with architect and Tanjore paintings and lightings, it means the home does not nurture preserved cultural values. Its a show, nothing more. You can remake puja but retain the old frames. In tamil we say, ‘aagi vandhadhu.’ That is priceless. For in Puja if you have to incorporate aesthetics, then it ceases to be a puja. What are the topics they initiate in conversation.
Now there is a trend downplaying discipline and self control and virtues and gloating over extra-maritals, overt westernization, consumerism, boozing, partying, modeling, etc., etc. Discipline and integrity and soul decency will win hands down any day. In the name of ‘openmindedness’ what is happening here?
Finally if Mother goddess removes you from a situation, it means She wants you out. You elevate to the orbit of higher frequency so you have to leave behind those who wallow in narcissistic tendencies. Our life goals are different. When we see women in late 40s pining, begging for love from strangers online, you know you did the right thing burning bridges. You can never belong with this circle of liars and fakes. Online world has become a dark web. Let me close this post on this fantastic note:
So the next time you pay overt attention to another man’s wife, remember probably your brother is watching your wife change or your neighbour saw online your daughter donning her bra or changing her sanitary napkin. You will never know! What goes around comes around. Your friend who watched your mother showering listening to You tube bhajan probably enjoyed the show! Women are not objects of sex. If they are to you, your family ladies are already being devoured by men from your own circle who knows!
And the nerve these toxic positive psychos have to label us pessimists and miserables!
Heeramandi could have been from an era gone by. But we have Heeramandi characters in real life these days. The way the faithful, the trustworthy, the loyal and honest people are ridiculed is shocking. Our value system gets underplayed. Every vice seems to be justified: from mothers boozing in the day to middle aged women having phone sex with celebs behind their husbands’ backs (or may be with husband’s blessings). Uppermiddle class is that. Its those who live with dignity and honour who look like fools. We are branded the pessimists, the negatives and the miserables. The Heeramandi gang is so upbeat! Found this gem:
Heera Mandi characters reminded me of 4 girls in the zumba gang I left! Hifi I mean! No wonder all of us are jealous of these Aishwarya Rais (they think they are!) aren’t we! But none of us family women can become like them, can we? There is simply no contest between soliciting girls from Heeramandi and family women. I would rather commit suicide than do what the zumba girl did/does. Good riddance. I walked out the day I found out about them. Anyway, absolutely NO REGRETS. Not all of us forge friendships or relationships looking at one’s car and bungalow. People fall for fakes. Thinking glass beads are precious crystals. If you like superficiality, God will send only an avalanche of shameless shallowness by your way. Some of us live by the Dharma. Nobody cares what is your social status or how successful you are in life. If you have everything other than strength of character and integrity, then what is the use. We all love our own lives too much. We never beat our chests and trumpet about self-love. WE ARE THE VERY PERSONIFICATION OF SELFLOVE for the simple reason, we never sold our soul, we never traded our dignity or family honour. More than self-love, we have this immense SELF RESPECT. Too proud and defiant with our heads held high. Couldn’t resist this post! Quality of life is about having the decency of the soul and it has nothing to do with your upper middle class lifestyle or attitude.
It is Laaptha ladies that is CLASS. Not Heeramandi.
Laaptha Ladies is so natural and makes more sense. I can identify with these kind of characters – so strong yet naive, principled, innocent, carry themselves with dignity even in poverty and in trying situations. Gold remains gold even when you melt it in highest degrees.
Laaptha ladies wins hands down because, even if both Heeramandi and Laaptha ladies are women-centric, Laaptha ladies makes it effortless. Women can be portrayed in better ways with honour even in our pictures. Equality lies even in this. There are better stories to tell. If the script is good, your setting could be even just an Uttarpradesh village, dusty, with a single passenger train passing in the middle of mustard flower blooming agricultural fields where farmers are busy working. You don’t need the shiny fake opulence of Heeramandi at all. Finally see how the celebrity patrons who step into Heeramandi return to their wives never according a place of honour or respect to the tawaifs. These men also replace their tawaifs too quickly, always with a roving eye for a new tawaif arriving at the scene. They don’t think twice about changing favours. And please don’t glamorize the tawaifs. They use up the tawaifs and trash them later like a soiled toilet tissue. This is the reality check for women selling their honour for cheap thrills online. Unless abducted and forced into prostitution, the lifestyle of a tawaif need not be glorified. Otherwise its a good entertainment for housewives like me, nothing more. Content-wise, Laaptha ladies is superior. Puspa and Phoolkumari are ethereal beauties over the made-up Heeramandi gang to me.
My family had close connect with both Shirdi Sai Baba mandir in Mylapore and Sri Ramakrishna Mission Mutt in RK Mutt road. My grandfather spent hours everyday in both places. In fact when Sai Baba mandir was in thatched hut or being built, my mom who was a little girl and my chithi used to be daily visitors there. They could have indeed been the foremost worshipers/devotees of Shirdi Baba in the temple then. The founder Sri Narasimha ji who finds mention in Shri Sai Satcharitra written by Shri Hematpanth used to bless both the sisters I believe. My mother was indeed a special child of god. Which is why She took her away too soon. My grandfather distributed idli vada parcel every thursday evening to those seeking alms in front of Baba mandir in Mylapore for decades – when not much devotees used to throng its precincts. In fact until I married, the Mandir used to be empty mostly except for some sparse crowds on thursdays. Now Baba;s shrine sees 24 hour Annadhanam all 365 days an year and is extremely crowded every single day of the week, but my thatha did it when nobody else was doing it. Baba is always special to me therefore. Baba lived onto his 80s and like a true sanyasi, he begged for food door to door until he could no more because of age. Sri Ramakrishna mission mutt is where my grandfather made most donations (selling away his family property that included godowns, 2 storey houses etc), especially to the free dispensary there, for the boys’ orphanage near Vivekananda college in Mylapore and to even towards construction of the present day mandir that stands in the old spot that we were very familiar with. Frankly, I have never stepped into the current building. I remember only the old Ramakrishna mutt that I used to visit on and off until I married. It was where my grandfather used to go for meditation and sometimes my mother would join. My thatha’s friends were monks! My grandfather flew to Singapore may be in 1980 or 81 or even 79 I am not sure with the monks of the mutt. Very lately I understood it was for establishing the mission there. My thatha was too well known in the mutt. So with him sometimes I went there. Meditation then was not my cup of tea! I loved the garden there. I couldn’t believe even then that such a heaven existed in the hustle-bustle of Mylapore quietly tucked away from all that chaos. I became a member of their library in my school days. One more thatha in my family also was a member there. This thatha led an exemplary ascetic life within the family. His daily visits saw him go to temples by walk, to kutcheris (Carnatic) in temples and sabhas and to libraries such as RK mission mutt library and Ranade library in Luz. Attachment in detachment: he lived exactly that life of non interference devoid of emotion but he cared. I read for free magazines like Illustrated weekly, Wisdom, Readers digest etc., in the mutt library. It contrasted to my picks from Rajeshwari lending library where I found my fictions. I think we were even allowed to take one or two books back home from RKM: i don’t remember this part clearly. No talking, not even whispers. No noise. Strict pindrop silence there. Mostly I was surrounded by oldies! I never thought I did not belong there! I think at least at that time i was the only teenage girl to read mags and papers with retired people. It was a true godsend for retired people of Mylapore. Yearly subscription was 5 rupees and before that it was totally free. May be now the scene is changed and there are women going to RKM library! At that time I used to see young monks also walking in the garden back and fro their living quarters to the mandir etc. My visits to the library got rarer with my college and my job. Totally stopped with my marriage. I think the Ramakrishna mutt building we have now in Mylapore was being built then. Even now it’s vimana (tower) can be seen from the house I grew up in. Rare/rear view. I knew a poor girl in Mylapore who worked as a housemaid who got free treatment from their dispensary for a very serious skin ailment of hers. She got cured only there of something that troubled her for years. This was in 1980s. The dispensary benefited a lot of lower middleclass folks in Mylapore. I hear its still going good. As for my grandpa who donated all his family wealth to temples and institutions, he passed away on a Krithika day. He was also a great devotee of Lord Skanda and he used to ride in his scooter to Tiruporur every krithika nakshatram day till he took terminally ill. That is our mother’s side Kuladeivam. Tiruporur Murugan (Subrahmanya). Rain or shine, he went there riding through that old and rugged OMR when it was NOT the IT corridor. It was not even a road then, just a dust lane that buses alone plied. Never missed a single Krithika star. The archaka would be waiting for him. How Lord Muruga took him into his bosom right on Krithika nakshatram day still amazes me. After years now I am reconnecting with Ramakrishna Mission. In the intervening years I totally forgot. I wish I had paid more attention to my thatha. In my younger age, I found whatever he said to be boring! Luz Navashakthi Pillayar also – matters to us since the temple’s inception. My mother conceived me after going around this temple. Navashakthi Vinayaka was my mother’s ishta deivam. She also introduced me to Mookambika my ishta deivam. My family used to be steeped in so much of piety. My mother especially was such a devout person. After my parents, my chithi and chithappa also used to be very pious and religious. They made me climb up the 7 hills on foot for a darshan of Lord Balaji at Tirupathi and even do ‘angapradhakshan’ to the deity – circumambulating the deity in the temple rolling your body around the prahara – before the Suprabhat darshan after a dip in December chill in the Pushkarini temple tank of Tirupathi. Even last week before leaving Chennai, I was visiting my 80 year chithi. The door was ajar. I walked in silently. I heard my chithi chanting Vishnu sahasranama in low tone in her room. I listened to her for a few minutes before slowly announcing myself to her softly without startling her suddenly. Old people. My chithi initiated Diya puja for me in 2001 that I continue until today. Blessed to have been born in this family. So many memories get kindled. I would want to visit Sri Ramakrishna mutt in Mylapore someday. After years I will be setting my foot in. I had a mental block with the places frequented by my mother. I stayed away from Navashakthi Vinayaka temple for decades. I went back to my mother’s school too after decades – finally two years back. Broke down in front of the headmistress. One staff member is still there who worked with my mother. She was a young joinee at that time. Went back to Tiruporur temple where my parents got married. There is no trace of my grandfather at all anywhere. Not that he did anything for his name. I have to give it my chithi, my mother and my chithappa and my own appa who never asked my grandfather a penny and signed on dotted line agreeing to give away ancestral properties. Will go back to Ramakrishna mutt too. Its mentally tough going back to these places. One by one at this age I am doing it finally. RK mission mutt will the one final stop I have to complete. I remember the big big black and white framed pic of Sri Ramakrishna, Sri Sarada Devi there even now. I remember only the old mutt with two side staircases (wooden and winding if I am correct?) we used to climb to reach the upper floor mutt. I used to hang on quietly but I never gave attention to what my thatha was conversing with the monks. He was on first name basis with them. He was not a monk really but almost! He was closest to them, that much I can say. I also remember asking him why the monks wanted to fly to Singapore!!! My thatha was vegetarian from birth but he smoked his entire life and was a chain smoker. Its one of the reasons I could not digest his association with the RK mutt!! My thatha patti went on Yatra to Kedharnath, Badrinath, Kashi, Vaishnodevi, Kali temple Calcutta even Kashmir and Punjab etc when there were no comfortable travel facilities. Only as I age, I understand what a supreme sacrifice was that of my grandfather and even of his daughtes to have given up so much in life without a claim. They could have lived like queens. But they grew up with lower middle class status. Never owned even a phone (until 2000 in case of my chithi). Thatha lived in 2 dhotis only. His only luxury was his scooter. And of course, cigarette! (just to say what my thatha sold to make donations to RK mutt: 7 grounds in Greenways road of today. this is what my mother and my chithi gave up wholeheartedly in the year 1975 for the sake of public service.) (Thatha gave up his cosmopolitan club membership to a relative because his sons-in-law would not take it). Never bragged about these things. Only very few closest friends know. Don’t regret any of those donations. For me now this is the greatest inspiration in fact. To do what you can for others in need of help.
மகன்தந்தைக்கு ஆற்றும் உதவி இவன்தந்தை
என்நோற்றான் கொல்எனும் சொல் (௭௰ – 70) 
This is from Thirukkural, penned in the 3rd century CE. The composer of the couplets some 1330 of which have only been found, Thiruvallur lived in Mylapore – my birth place which is the oldest part of my hometown Chennai. Just to show how advanced our Hindu culture and civilization were before the birth of Christ.
On this one:
Makandhandhaikku Aatrum Udhavi IvandhandhaiEnnotraan
Kol Enum Sol
— (Transliteration)
The son’s duty to his father is to make world ask, ‘By what austerities did he merit such a son!
Credits go to a private blogger. This translation is not mine but I am capable of doing this! So although the couplet mentions the father, today being Mothers Day, I think I can substitute ‘father’ with ‘mother.’ A mother’s duty is done when the world exclaims she got a good son!
Let me clarify on this: Academic brilliance, career accomplishments, social status, economic freedom these alone do not define a good son. I come across sons who hold bedpans to their sick and aged parents. Who make living gentler and easier for the father and mother in their senile years. Who become eyes and ears to parents. We parents in the modern age do not have this kind of expectations. There are paid services for everything and everywhere. We will never put out children in that spot, hopefully. Its enough our children live with dignity and shame and strength of character and honesty and integrity. This is all I pray for, for my kids and grandkid. If the basics are taken care of, the rest shall work out by itself. Never damage anyone. Never be the parasite feeding on energy of the vulnerable. Have a clear conscience. Be kind, compassionate, empathetic, gallant and generous. This generation has more ethics: against Walmart kind of business, against working for arms manufacturers or in defence industry, against this, against that. What a conscious choice they make. Against polluting corporations. Against multinationals that have anti-labour policies. Against MNCs with political affiliations. Against those that deplete nature and exploit communities. At this rate I even wondered whether our kids could find a job at all! But I know world can do with this kind of rational thinking. Unfortunately in my generation we could not afford the luxury of taking a pick like my son’s generation does. May our children remember, they can afford these ethics and morals because we traded ours to give them a decent living. Anyway, our children are our pride. Hopefully they make this world a better place to live in. They are all nature and wildlife lovers. They are all for equality and social justice.
As mothers its time for us to bask in this kind of success: in creating this very humane generation who have consideration for the marginalized and for those that live in the fringes. Theirs is a much more inclusive society than ours. Although my generation can never swear by their values, from a distance I respect and adore whatever my children do.
You can’t put it better. There could still have been a mention of George Soros. This mafia cartel is what BJP and Hindus of India are fighting. Democracy in India is incumbent upon the demography of INdia. The day the Hindu population tips below that of the muslim population, we are finished. Last night was watching an analysis on Pakistan. Its very much relevant to India as the topic explored, what shall happen to India when Pakistan collapses which it will eventually. It could be even as early as this year 2024 or it may be maximum within another 20 years. In the event of which, India will see refugees in millions knocking at our doors. Remember these will not be poor displaced peasants seeking amnesty. We have campus interviews in universities in India. The research person compared those institutions like the IIT, IIM, other 2nd and 3rd tier engineering schools inviting recruiters such as global IT corporations and other multinationals for campus placements from them for freshers. This is standard practice in India with even core engineering recruitment. Those who miss the campus placements have to tough it out through regular employment channels. So a lot of weightage is given for campus interviews. The analyst compared this situation in India with Pakistan where global recruitment is on for mercenaries who will work for a wage as terrorists in any part of the world. Global trouble makers recruit these trained and armed Pakistanis for engagement in war time activities be it war-torn middle eastern countries or Africa or South East Asia or wherever. Recently a string of casualties were reported by Pakistan as over 33 nationals of theirs lost their lives fighting for a terror group in ME. This is media news and verified reporting/info in press around the world. We in India have to remember that Pakistan is breeding ground for terror and is also the world’s foremost training institution and recruitment agency for rioters and armed mercenaries. So in the event of Pakistan collapsing, what can happen? You will see Pakis knocking on neighbour India’s doors. These are hardcore terrorists who have been brainwashed for generations. Extremely fanatical.
The analyst underscored the importance of India preparing for this eventuality some day in near or far future. There has to be a strategy in place in India to PUSH BACK refugees or Pakistan nationals. First of all the borders have to have electrical fence and need to be strengthened. The loopholes have to be plugged for trickles that can swell up in volume in no time. At no time should India take over Pakistan. The greed for Karachi harbour etc., can make India go for the opportunity. It shall take immense willpower and strategic thinking on part of India to allow Pakistan to even go to China or get disintegrated – watching events unfold as a disinterested third party. Not a single component of theirs must be absorbed and this includes their population and territory. Pakistan is a headache. Remember their women have one of world’s highest fertility rates. Their population is galloping at highest speed. But even if India is world’s most populated country, our population has been increasing at a decreasing rate for decades now. Hindus practise strictest population control and family planning. Cannot see a third child in 90% Hindu families. Single child is the norm in last 2 generations without govt enforcement as in China. Even this small add-on to our total population is NOT because of explosion in Hindu population. I don’t have to spell out, who are the reason for India’s population woes.
India got her independence from the British in 1947. Whatever we made of ourselves, is because of OUR HARDWORK AND DILIGENCE. Its no joke feeding 1.3 billion heads and still be world’s largest exporter of wheat, rice, cooking oils, vegetables and fruits including the finest mangoes on earth, tea, coffee, spices, pharmaceuticals including vaccinations and medications for any and every ailment, textiles, IT (in services industry), medicos, engineers etc. Every single thing that India gained in the last 75 years or so shall be negated in no time if Pakistan is to be absorbed.
Disowning Pakistan when they fall apart one fine day will be the acid test India shall have to take. It will decide whether India shall make it or break with the added weight of Pakistan. If and when BJP gets reelected in Lok sabha elections, they have to start moving things in preparation for such a date that shall dawn in history. India’s destiny is thus closely linked to Pakistan. Its a viable Pakistan that is beneficial for India. We can fight those border skirmishes and can put up with their terror nuisances.
As for as Pakistan agenda is concerned, hope our intelligence agencies as well as the central govt take cognizance of these facts that can prove to be true in coming days with Pakistan. We are going to see trouble and complete chaos. Resisting the attempt to takeover Pakistan in greed for their natural resources will keep India in good stead. NO sensible statesman would do that mistake. However, if congress deshdrohis may be in power, one cannot be sure of our fate. Those who had no role to play in India growth story can have nothing to do with us ever in future. You can never build a nation with someone whose masses are brainwashed and armed to teeth with weapons, indoctrinated with the terror tactics. In short, Hindu Dharma is the dharma of Bharat/India. WE CAN NEVER ALLOW INDIA GO ISLAMIC. Our other name is Hindustan. Islam from middle east STOPS with Pakistan to continue AFTER INDIA MAP from Bangladesh. That is how it is, and that is how it shall be and that is how it MUST BE. A wise and timely analysis by a retired major, yesterday’s you tube video was worth considering. A reality in the making already.
Who India therefore elects is of great significance. India only wants back her own POK and NOT a single inch of Pakistan and NONE of the Pakistanis. They can preserve themselves! No threat from India or greed from India! India will do well WITH NOTHING FROM PAKISTAN. INDIA NEVER WANTED PAKISTAN GEOGRAPHY – NOT A SINGLE INCH OF THEIR TERRITORY. India’s own survival depends on shirking off Pakistan in future with clarity and purpose. Pakistan is NOT INdia’s responsibility, they are their own making. We need a strong and strategically planning, executing statesman who can be decisive and quick when it comes to crisis such as the Pakistan eventuality/inevitability. Hopefully Modi is already looking at this angle and preparing for long term. We can deal with small independent countries such as Sindh, Punjab etc., from the fall out of Pakistan. May be we can establish amicable relationship with these newer states as we have with Bangladesh now.
Respect is reserved for the worthy.
Respect is a two way street. Not the cul-de-sac you suppose it to be.
You don’t just extend respect to someone. When that someone is offended or shown disrespect in front of you, YOU ACTING DUMB is equally disrespectful. If you are on my side I expect you to REACT. Counter. Attack on my behalf. Join forces with me. I need my friends defending me – both to my face and behind my back. I need that solidarity. Or cut it out. I don’t need you. I am better off without cowards. If you are okay with me abused in front of you, be ready to get abused in return. Friends with everyone but I never forget to take my sword wherever I go. நானா சண்டைக்கு போகமாட்டேன். வந்த சண்டையை விடவே மாட்டேன். Proudly bitchy!
What I play in you tube is for MY HAPPINESS, MY RELAXATION. Every bloody narcissist out there need not have to fancy himself that he is the object of my desire. Whether at 55, we women need this! I also come across old maidens, divorcees especially who are out for dating in this grand old age over 50. Whether ravenwolf or whoever I don’t care. My hands are full. My life is mine and I don’t yearn for anything more. No woman needs to overrate herself into believing that I am in any contest with her. Karmam. You can keep your sh*t. Over 50 or even 48 if you have to look out for a man, that is bad enough. In this age, mothering, grandmothering must be a woman’s way of life. Not every woman is like you. I can’t believe in this grand old age, these people are talking of casual sex, love and other things. I outgrew that phase since long. In my age, its normal for long married couples to become like brother-sister themselves. Our culture is that. I am still old school. I cannot understand the dynamics of online relationships of these modern times. 2 minute noodle stories all.
Online survival is getting very difficult for women like me these days. Nobody wants to give you your space. Or your sacred privacy. You are hacked, tracked 24 hours. You have to fight it out, scratch, rebuff, counter attack and make your way. Housewives like me use the web for timepass and quality entertainment. This most certainly is NOT fishing grounds for us to hook up for cheap thrills. Neither shall we swallow the bail reeled out (no pun intended) by some hopeful narcissists. We are too strong and battle-hardened for that. Go looking for brainless bimbos who in their 40s and 50s actually fancy themselves to be in their teens and twenties. This is such a fake! Nowadays I am nervous about switching on tv, leaving my phone open etc. Even playing my favourite music seems to invite attention. Every SRK solo, Kamal Rajni duet or whatever brings out the shameless side of the narcissists. Many times I have published this disclaimer. MY MUSIC IS MY CHOICE. PLAYED FOR MY EXCLUSIVE PLEASURE. Mirroring is a very cunning strategy adopted by narcissists to preempt a woman’s sense of fulfillment and simple joys of life. Its like taking over our identity, denying us our identity. Its like negating our very existence. Hijacking whatever we spent years in building. Mirroring gets on my nerves. But that won’t make me shy of tuning into my favourite piece of music. IN SHORT, EVERYTHING I DO IS NOT FOR YOU. Karmam. Idhennada pudhu thalaivali.
Well, as a woman, wife, mother and grandmother, I never thought I would get embroiled in this kind of meaningless skirmishes with unknown strangers online. My world is pretty closed. My circle is SMALL. I come from a very conservative background. But where we have to be bold, we women are bold. I don’t want any more friends or new relationships. Happy with what I have. You can contact me if you want to embrace Shakthi worship. I can guide you about how to go about it. I have successfully convinced friends to take puja seriously and devote their bhakthi to Mother goddess with unwavering focus. My mission in life is this now: not to reform but to redirect, in case you need assistance, in case your soul is troubled. Cut the crap and come with a clear conscience. We all have families. Loyalty and gratitude define one’s character. Without the strength of character and integrity, you are nothing. Practise these virtues in real life and you will never engage yourselves in this kind of bloody nonsense.
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EVerytime you hack/track/menace a woman – it IS SEXUAL HARASSMENT without a doubt, which is not only immoral and unethical but also ILLEGAL.
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