People have normal days, special days. Difference blurred for me months earlier.
Today I heard this REAL LIFE STORY. Happened just a day or two earlier. A group of women had arranged for Soundarya Lahari recitation in a Kali temple, by month end. For whatever reason, one of the ladies changed the programme to Bhajans. Her argument was probably that, Lahari is not for simpletons. Bhajans are more common. While she was in her puja, Ma Kali Herself visited her and gave her a piece of HER mind I believe. ‘Soundarya Lahari is what I WANTED to listen to! Who are you to change the subject!’ Alarmed or whatever, the programme is now back as originally planned.
People don;t realize, how deities can be REALIZED at times. The line to the fourth dimension is barely visible. With right devotion/bhakthi and previous/present good karma, we could be crossing the line without knowing. Yoga/meditation is the key. Someone who related to me this incident used to question me about my own awakening. Now finally she believes that I have not been hallucinating and that I don’t need psychological counselling! I told her my day today is with BALA GANAPATHY. He is such a charming boyhood Ganesha. Imagine having a darshan of Him! I dont; know what is my previous janam karma. Of course now I am learnng to enjoy the bliss by myself. People may think I have gone nuts. I woke up to Ma Varahi by my bedside (only face) 2 days back. In the middle of the night in between sleep, I spotted Lord Bhairav in dog form looking at me. Contented that I was being looked after, I went back to sleep peacefully. Right through the day, I am living in a different world. I am seeing different things that normal human beings don’t.
And then for relaxation I come to my laptop. Open the you tube. I am disappointed to see how people NEVER grow up. My world, my reality is changed reality. Not only that, my world is filled with not just the satwik deities like Lakshmi and Lalitha Maha Tripura Sundari. It also has Varahi, Kali, Bhairav who are all fiercer forms of deities. I recently thought someone cheated me on something. In my mind, I was questioning that’s all. I did not confront that person. Later I learnt that the person suffered a health issue enduring tremendous pain. Immediately it rang a bell. Now my fervent prayer to my devtas is that, they don’t have to do any harm to anyone to defend me. I am perfectly fine. Its okay, i am willign to forgive and forget. I don’t harbour vengeance. But please, don’t harm anyone for my sake! Frankly this is also part of my prayer these days. Otherwise I try not ot seek anything personally or materialistic from my deities. I am writing this to show, to what extent our devtas can go protecting us once we come under their wings.
Imagine waking up to your Ishta devtas, having a devta vision in the day, your mind being filled by your sacred deity visions and your mind being preoccupied by those divine visions. Although gurus advise us not to dwell on visions as they are mere distractions, you still know its such a blessing. This life of mine is such a blessing. I am living in a totally different world that nobody can understand.
Today went out and tried to get a kurta done by my designer. I too still want life to have some normal semblance. I cook, watch tv, shop, mildly gossip – try as much as possible to lead a normal familial life like everyone else – and like how I was until this march. But i know inbetween something changed. The old me is gone. While I may not be the Ramana Maharishi material, at least I am no more the one I was until the year beginning. I was in a gathering yesterday. I could picture a top floor lay out and spot 2 doggies there. But when I went up, I saw that their floor plan was different. I am sure my vision is correct, but may be it was one of those neighbourhood houses. Imagine being with friends, but being flooded with visions that they will be shocked to hear about. They are laughing, chatting, clicking pictures – but I go quiet and recede to a corner as I am flooded with visions. I am preoccupied with my own new world of reality. I pose for pictures, say hi to everyone, spoon the food and make my way back home, eager to get away. The thought of missing my mantra japa is what is my greatest botheration.
As for Bala Ganapathy, the boy form of Lord Ganesha, He is such a cutie. I hug Him with my whole of my heart and purest love. He is gentle and sweet and compassionate and naughty just like any human kid. Huggie!
I want to express immense gratitude to all my devtas, deities who grace me with their divine visions. It makes me want nothing more out of life. It makes me feel grateful for the gifts I have received unasked for in life.
You tube with its political news, musical videos etc., serves as a good distraction to me. I think its healthy for me to take my mind off for a little while away from my divine preoccupations. It acts like a recharger point for me frankly. I feel refreshed watching the videos.
Finally, the one who related to me the Kali story today said, she does not want to be ‘awakened!’ ‘You need to be brave and bold for that’ she said. So that’s what I became. Divine Mother will give you the mental strength and courage that you need at this point, being by your side and guiding you always. When Divine Grace is with you, what more you need in life.
Had no idea, they made a picture out of Neem Karoli Baba’s life story. India has millions of gurus. Although I am familiar with some, like most others I miss out on a majority of the ‘REALIZED GURUS.’ Neem Karoli Baba is one such guru who Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg etc., were drawn to. Guru was already gone by then it seems. But the aura of siddha purushas, we believe, may remain around for a 1000 years. In their own way, these men who descended upon his temple, spending months (in the case of Steve Jobs) in his ashram/India, had come with a mission (or had a defined birth purpose) that they fulfilled. Planning to watch the flick if its on Netflix. Hope they don”t spoil it. I don’t know of his life history. But have heard people say, he is Hanuman reincarnation. World is full of gurus today doing podcasts. Finding the right one is the key. While over a majority of them may not be themselves realized gurus (or the enlightened ones themselves) and some being fake/money minded, it is very important to get the right guru for our spiritual progress.
WANTED ONLY DIVINE POSITIVE ENERGY.
WANTED POSITIVE ENERGY AND PROTECTION FROM MA LALITHA MAHA TRIPURA SUNDARI
WANTED PROTECTION FROM PANCHA MUKHA HANUMAN
WANT ONLY DEIVIK POSITIVE ENERGY
ONLY POSITIVE DIVINE ENERGY
IS MA LISTENING. IS MA LALITHA MAHA TRIPURA SUNDARI LISTENING.
Life is like a river. Can you touch the same water in a flowing river twice. What was true of yesterday need not have to be true today. Its as simple and stark plain as that. We all keep evolving. Our latest version is what is our current reality.
In my case especially, things changed overnight for me as I stepped into the 4th and may be higher dimensions. I am now weary of even calling myself spiritual, because that also amounts to boasting. I can just say that I am made a bit different compared to most of my peers. Whatever is the exact reason I don’t know. My reality or the reality as 99.9999999% of the world may know, CHANGED for me forever. Just like that. I was in the US at that time. I remember during one of my hikes with my son in the Sonoran forests, not hundreds but thousands and thousands of butterflies surrounded me and followed me throughout. In fact, it took my son by surprise because they left him somewhat free. Within days after that my ‘awakening’ happened.
People who have no seriousness about spirituality or about human consciousness may have no clue of what I am talking about right now. I can recommend the book ‘The autobiography of a Yogi’ by Paramahamsa Yogananda – to understand not only about our own consciousness but also about collective consciousness, and why in what way Hindu Dharma is scientific and on the spot. The Saguna worship (the idols/vigraha) worship of the Hindus caught the world attention, so most missed the point. Those who bothered to research ended up in India and that is why India is mostly referred to as the spiritual capital of the world. Millions descend in the native Hindu soil seeking Gurus and spiritual growth. This is not without a reason. There is more scope in our culture for our consciousness to evolve right when we are in our human body. Sounds greek and latin? The more materialistic you are, the more difficult it may be for you to understand the crux of the matter. Entire Hindu existence is for one purpose: to attain higher consciousness while still in our physical body (latest avatar)/when we are still alive. Of course this is possible only for a chosen few.
Let me make it clear, awakening is NOT enlightenment. But imagine ‘awakening’ one fine day. Your reality changes forever. You are no more the one who the world knew you as. You third eye flings open. Do they even have an idea of what you are now. Feels freaky.
By whatever permutations and combinations of our past karma from multiple janams, present karma, past and present spiritual track record, our ancestral karma, etc., etc., the third eye may open for some, right while alive in this physical body. While this may be just the first step or KG level in the university of cosmos and it may be a while before you graduate on self realization, it is still a GIFT – a gift and ultimate wealth/treasure and beauty and intelligence and whatever like none other, ALL ROLLED INTO ONE. That is how I see awakening, at the cost of being labeled proud and boastful. I really don’t know what I did to deserve being here. But I am here into the 4th dimension. I know I am literally one in a million. I appreciate this gift from my Ma Lalitha Maha Tripura Sundari who reads every thought of mine and answers me, clearing my doubts and setting me straight on this chosen path. I am still a dutiful housewife/mother/grandmother and daughter-in-law to my 90 year old mother-in=-law. But I am no more the same person who I was until March 2nd week.
Some people have problems accepting our latest version. We keep updating all the time our software. Awakened people are confused first, dazed and slowly trying to come to terms with their new reality. They need understanding more than anything – but that which is rare from those who cannot even imagine what the awakened are visualizing/sighting. One thing about awakening is that. YOU CANNOT REVERSE AWAKENING. You cannot go back to being your old self.
I have posted on the ‘ant and the boot’ story many times. I will repeat it here. An ant at the foot of a boot may think, the boot is the maximum extent of the world. The ant cannot visualize the man wearing the boot, the room of the man or his house or the world beyond. That is the maximum the ant brain faculty is capable of. For the ant, logical world exists upto that boot or around that and may a few more meters. Suppose the ant can imagine by some magical power the boot wearing man and his house and street and city and country and the world, what would you have to say about the ant? The ant’s consciousness just expanded right. The ant is more aware. But the ant will be called crazy by the community. For the ant community, ant life and ant perceptions only are logical. Anything beyond their ant brain capability will be termed illogical or unscientific by the community. Sorry state of the evolved ant we have here! Awakened people are like that ant that can see beyond now. Beyond logic. Can the ant ever belong again with the community. It may try hard.
I have people trying to convince me of talking to psychiatrist, going for counseling, taking medication etc., etc. People who doubt me of lying or exaggerating of hallucinating. Then there are those who think of me as being boastful about spiritual practices like puja. I have stopped convincing people of my current status. Awakening also enforces solitude. But even before awakening I appreciated solitude. I would mix with people but back home I need to be twice alone to recoup for the time spent socializing.
Life flows like a river and keeps moving even for normal people. The condition of the awakened people is even more fast-paced.
Sometimes I do miss the happy-go-luck existence as I knew life until a few months back. I started getting the vibes by November 2025 in Doha. I am a Hindu, my spiritual vibes started in Qatar, an islamic country and I ‘awakened’ in America, a christian country. Now that is a statement already. That is COSMOS for you. The energy forms are what we call Shiva and Shakthi and Jesus and Allah. Hindus give the energy forms a shape for easy identification that’s all. Yet the one dharma that continuously sees humans evolving into higher consciousness is Sanatan Dharma (Hinduism) that happens to be Indian. Thousands of enlightened gurus graced Bharatha (India) even when under the miserable and terrorizing islamic mugal reign. Whereas not even a handful of enlightened beings graced islam through centuries. Once you lay down rules such as no idolatry, no this, no that, then you are already trying to define god. This rigidity itself may be a reason for violence in some religions. TO A HINDU, GOD IS FIRST A FEMALE. Then and there itself we defy islam! Bingo! Female god in idol form. That’s a hatrick! This is not a contest and more than anyone I know it. I am just trying to explain what is wrong with some ideologies. Nobody has a right to define the super consciousness as this or that. Deities are energy forms. Goddesses and gods are all of the pantheon of gods. We give them identities to address to their particular form of energy, that’s all.The west first dubbed everything eastern as paganism. Now they approach even the pyramids of Egypt with super awe, for the energy/spiritual centers they are. Ancient Egypt was truly spiritual and better evolved than current islamic and violent and cultureless Egypt. Anyway, I loved Egypt.
Truth is as simple as this: without the concept of rebirth or avatar (in sanskrit) or reincarnation, there cannot be an (undying) Atma (soul). Without reference to the atman, the Brahman or the supreme consciousness cannot be realized. Now even Bible/christianity is trying to steal the rebirth/reincarnation concept from Hindus. Already Buddhists did that but Buddhism is an offshoot from Hindu Dharma. This is where the abrahamics fail entirely when the eastern religions got it figured out correctly. As for Hindu dharma that has no founder, the ultimate truth came right from Brahman/bhagwan/super consciousness. Every mantra/shloka for us is a portal to our deities. Every hindu ritual such as puja is a portal to the Brahman. That is how our ancestors hid the portals to the higher realms right in our midst, in front of our eyes. Our temples and holy cities and holy rivers and mountains became portals/gateways to higher consciousness. That is why these rituals, idolatry etc., got mocked by the islamists and westerners who could not understand our philosophy, who therefore ended up ransacking our temples . What they could not strip the hindus of was the very Hindu scripture knowledge and mantras and vedas, etc., that are themselves portals to the higher consciousness. That is the beauty of Hindu dharma. Not in a million years can islamists have a clue about it, sorry. Christians are trying to make their best to copy, attempting cultural theft. This is not to demean others. It is the truth about them against us. Imagine centuries of destruction done to Hindu cause and what we have survived. Yet no other culture in the world has produced as many enlightened sages/saints/gurus as Hindu India has. I understand the native Indians of America are somewhat spiritual in a different way, and so also Africans. Who is rich and who is poor really.
From initial euphoria as well as confusion, I am slowly settling down coming to terms with my newfound or changed reality. This is like my NEW NORMAL. I have hard time convincing people of my present state of mind. I am not even trying and I let it pass allowing people to conclude whatever they want to about me. Its not my headache.
My focus, my life goal took a 180 degree turn this year. My purpose is to EVOLVE AND EVOLVE FURTHER INTO HIGHER CONSCIOUSNESS. I am working towards my spiritual progress. The online world is a healthy distraction – that is how I prefer to see it these days. A light entertainment for my otherwise heavy mind full of serious spiritual matters. May be I should not complain but appreciate the welcome change of scene that brings a smile to my face, with their illusions/Maya which they believe is the reality of the world.
Took a breathe of fresh air, stepping out today for shopping after a couple of months almost. Feels good. Retail therapy! I welcome it somewhat. Its better than partying and socializing. I like doing it solo! For a few hours I dwelt in a different world – I mean the regular world! Otherwise most of the times, a parallel world has my attention. My new normal world. People say I look distracted. Do they even have a clue!
We should not even talk about others’ Karma, still I want to share this poignant real life story that can be an eye opener.
There was this girl in her early 20’s working for a bank. She fell in love with a boy working for an IT company. They both married but the boy was growing increasingly suspicious about the girl’s friendship with her male colleague. The very evening after they were married, a big row erupted between both their families. The couple separated then and there. The marriage was not even consummated. Heated arguments between family members led to immediate filing of divorce. Then the next 3 years, the boy and the girl lived separately in their own parental homes.
The couple surprisingly patched up after 3 years of separation. They again reunited leaving behind their past. The families agreed to stay peaceful. The girl immediately got pregnant and delivered a boy baby. The baby was not even a few months old when the boy in his late 20s fainted and took seriously ill. Surgery on his brain followed. I don’t have clear information on his health status. Recently cardiac bypass surgery also was done on him. He is not verbal but he is able to walk finally now with a little support, with physiotherapy. Mostly however he is bedridden. He needs special patient care. He got discharged from hospital after months as inpatient. The girl is now nursing him after returning from work, leaving the baby with her parents.
Really when I heard of this story, I was reminded of this word called Karma. See how karma would not leave the young girl even after her divorce and separation from the boy. Now resigned to fate, she is taking good care of him but he has miles to go. He is in his parents’ home where the girl tends to him personally after her working hours.
About the girls’ parents: they are overall rated good people with 3 daughters. This ill fated girl is their eldest. The father had an unmarried sister at home, younger to him. His widowed mother was also dependent on him. He never took efforts to get his sister married who was fatherless. In Hindu families, when the father passes away, the responsibility of the family falls on the eldest son. Not having your younger sister married is considered a big adharmic deed. The widowed mother could not get along with the daughter-in-law who was extremely jealous of the attention the mother and daughter were getting from her husband. They were a financial burden and they had nowhere to go. They shared the same small space that was too crowded for such a big family. Once the man of the house got a new sari for Diwali for his old aged mother. His wife could not accept it. She tore the sari into 2 halves in the middle and restitched it before giving it to her mother-in-law. Although we should not talk about others’ karma, for some reason this family story always haunts my mind.
Years later, the family is suffering the karma of their deeds. The eldest daughter is paying a big price for her parents’ karma. The patient son-in-law is not only a huge financial drain but is also not yet around the bend. He is not even 30 years old and has lost his capacity mostly to work. For him the first goal is the become mobile, become verbal and communicative and live a life with dignity not depending on others. The young girl of not even 28 years is suffering. No hapiness or peace in both families.
Sometimes some of us suffer even if we have not damaged anyone consciously in this janam. Yet, the previous karma from our earlier births may continue to ttalk us and make us suffer. So why consciously hurt others in this janam.
The girl taking a u turn and living with the boy patching up with him, to everyone’s wonder, is clear demonstration of how Karma won’t leave you at all. You simply cannot escape destiny – UNLESS YOU HAVE A PROTECTIVE DEITY WHO IS TAKING CARE OF YOU.
Every action of ours has an equal and opposite reaction. Think twice before you act. Karma is at work all 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 30 days a month and 365 days an year. Who can escape from the clutches of Karma. My heart goes out to the young couple, especially the girl who is paying a very high karmic price. Once karma extracts its toll, hopefully the boy shall recover and the couple can return to a happy routine normal life. Looking forward to this day and good news about them. Kudos to the girl who inspite of being first divorced on grounds of suspicion, is now tending to her young husband not choosing to avenge him or his family. May be that good karmic deed can reverse the bad karma with time.
I don’t know whether I am in complete surrender to Ma Lalitha Tripura Sundari, but when I read a chapter in Sundara Kandam (Valmiki Ramayana Tamil version) every saturday, I tell Rama, still Ma Lalitha is my primary Mother goddess! When I do a simple pushpaarchana for ashtotra to Satya Narayana for Pournami, I tell Him, still my first devotion is only to Ma Lalitha. When I read a chapter in Sai Satcharitra every thursday, I tell Baba, but then my Ishta Devta is Lalitha Parameshwari only. Friends give remedies, try to introduce new rituals, ask me to go here and there, suggest various shlokas for different powerful deities, but then nobody/nothing has been able to dislodge my Lalitha who took over my heart 33 years back. She just won’t budge! Aadi velli or Thai velli, it does not matter. For me tuesdays and fridays mean diya puja with which I am obsessed! Unless I am sick or out of town, I try not to miss it because I know Ma keeps waiting for me. So day is complete and fulfilling when my pujas are done to my satisfaction.
Secondly I was missing my kitchen that I delegated to a hired cook. Took possession again this week and back to cooking. Hubby is relieved because I don’t have to hit the gym for 2 reasons: NO TIME, THEN AUTOMATIC FITNESS FROM STANDING IN KITCHEN FOR HOURS AND WORKING WITH HANDS! These men! Within a couple of days I could see how much oil was generously used along with spices and how careless the work was. I don’t blame hired helps. They are professionals in a hurry and it is NOT THEIR HOME OR KITCHEN. Why should they bother. Healthy food is on the mind of us wives only, not our cooks.
After a few months switched back to my mode of cooking:
For breakfast Payaru idli, peanut chutney
For lunch: seeraga samba pongal with kathirikkai gotsu
For dinner: phulkas (atta with millet flour) with same kathirikkai gotsu
I did not know that I would be missing my own cooking so much hahaha!
Watched half a good picture in Netflix retro one after a good puja.
This week visited Thirunindravur where I happened to witness Garuda Sevai of Bhakthavasala Perumal on the occasion of Gajendra Moksham on Aadi Pournami day. This kshetra is one of the 108 Divya Desam temples. I think I have visited quite a few Divya Desam temples. I don’t keep count. Similarly been to quite a few ‘Padal petra stalams’ among the 276 or so ancient Shiva temples in Tamil Nadu where hyms were sung by the nayanamars. Closeby there also were 2 ancient temples, Eri Katha Ramar (Rama who saved the lake) and Hridayaleeshwara temple (Shiva temple for curing heart disease). Poosalai Nayanaar, one of the 64 nayanmaars of Shaiva Tamil tradition, built a Shiva temple exactly in this spot in his heart while the king built a huge granite temple. Both held Kumbabhishegam for the temple on the same day and Shiva attended Poosalai Nayanaar’s Hridhaya (heart) temple function, skipping the king’s, impressed by his devotion. Blessed darshan in these temples that are so close to Chennai. So that’s what I did on Guru Purnima day!
A day is well spent when you connect to family abroad at least on phone, do a good puja, meditate, cook well and eat well and relax well. I wish I could fit in some fitness routine. But any little time spent on fitness in the mornings will affect my cooking and puja. This is why I wanted a cook. Anyway, people’s careless work gets on my nerves. I wonder how people manage with a battalion of househelps and cooks. I just can’t I found out recently. Rounding off the day with a little online reading and music will be ideal. Let me try! (In near future, have to try to fit in at least Yoga at home/in a class or gym in the afternoons).
Recently traveling by air conditioned chair car in Tejas between cities, we found our expected joyful ride turning into a miserable one. Reason: Lack of etiquette in our fellow passengers. Almost everyone around us was on phone and shouting at the top of their voice. Compared to other trains, Tejas and Vande Bharat make least noise. The hum of the a/c was also inaudible. The rural scene was unfolding in front of our eyes through the glass windows. But our ears got pierced with screeching sounds from all sides, with men and women talking loudest into their phones. Decibels kept rising and hitting the roof and soon I could make out distinct families from phone conversations and family members by names and their relationships. Their current problems made me sympathize with them! Many reel stories were floating around. In between there were one or two business calls by hapless men who tried to work online in all that senseless noise generated by the passengers.
We Indians don;t just lack civic sense; we also lack certain etiquettes. From dancing in Vietnam airport to interfering in others’ internal matters, we don’t shy away from committing the worst ethical crimes.
Invading others’ privacy seems to run in our blood, stamped in our DNA. Watching surreptitiously other men’s wives hacking and stacking online to getting curious about others’ livelihood and earnings, there is not a thing we don’t seem to cross boundaries about.
Day train seems to give us headache really. We take CC to cut travel time as these are superfast trains. But the nightmare of being forced to listen to nonstop nonsense conversations by fellow passengers into their phones is making us wonder whether we should safely opt for sleeper berths opting for night time travel in trains. We are not the kind to tune to music over headphones. Impossible to read a book in this climate. In short, fellow Indians with their poorest etiquettes make our train travel experiences into horrible trips.
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