NOT YOUR CONVENTIONAL BHAKTH HERE.
Ardent devotee of Ma Shakthi. Still I don’t consider myself a very sincere bhakth. Most of the times I am distracted. My pujas may be regular but my mind would be wandering. I came to know of Sri Vidya only by 2021 or so. May be 2020. I took upasana only in 2022. Until then I have even shaken a leg with my happy-go-lucky friends sipping wine with them (on rarest of rare occasions only). (They were into hardstuff). In fact I wanted to belong with my peers because i thought they were cool! This was self contradictory. I was into puja and devotion yet I liked their wild side. Then something happened and I forever parted ways with them.
After Upasana, I thoroughly cleansed myself in and out. I have no hard feelings in the present for the girls either. I was bitter for a while. Now on my awakening I understand that Ma Lalitha cut the cords for me with the girls’ gangs. I fell out with many friends and relations around this time. I was becoming a loner. My health took a beating so I started paying serious attention to my health and started doing Yoga regularly. Now I am not so regular. In fact i am not into fitness at all these days. I have to catch up. Domestic matters keep me busy. That is why when i had ‘awakening’ there were those who flatly refused to believe me. These were those who thought I didn’t deserve to ‘awaken’ hahaha. Well, the question they have to ask only Ma Lalitha! As to why She chose me. Of course these girls haven’t walked MY path. My path was not easy. I am not the typical bhakth observing ‘aachaaraas’ and ‘anushtaanaas’ and in that way I was totally a misfit. In fact, in Sri Sailam temple in Andhra, one of the Jyothirlingams, 20 years back I have performed abhishegam with my hands when it was second day of my menses. Then in the Shani temple in Shanishignapur, my friends abstained from getting closer to Shani but as court judgment was out, I performed abhishegam to Shani with my own hands. So I became kind of outcast in my own friends’ group. To Mallikarjuna, Srisailam Shiva, I asked only one thing: ‘I won’t get another chance to take a look at you. should i be with you now or should I miss you.’ I thought NOT missing Shiva/Mallikarjuna was more important to me than my menses and I doubted whether Shiva cared about my periods or clothes. Or about lungis or beedis! This used to be typically my argument with my friends. I said, I prioritized my deities, that’s all. I put the mundane matters to backburners. But it all got me into bad books of some people who even now may be enraged even with the Gods for choosing me over them hahaha!
I may do a little mantra japa but my concentration hardly is in tact for a few minutes. I am literally the jack of all trades and master of none. But I think my travel and living abroad as minority for a large chunk of my life so far and the diverse conditions that I have met with, put me in a league different from others. I slowly started drifting away from my friends. I could gel with none. I found peace only in solitude. That does not mean I was always into spirituality! I never rated myself as a very spiritual person. I never thought Amma would give me a promotion in this janam itself. Half the times I would be in tears and fighting with Her. Now looking back I can see that I was never alone and that She was always there for me, although I failed to reckon. I thought I fought the battles of my life all alone, but She has been there throughout. Now rewinding and reconstructing my life, I am amazed how quietly She has been moving pieces for me. I am someone for who Ma Lalitha Tripura Sundari rewrote destiny. Not just for me, but for my entire family. I can’t disclose details. She entered my life before my marriage, when I was orphan and without hardly a few hundreds of rupees in bank account. I had a decent job (by those days” standards). Ever since Ma Lalitha took over my life completely. I used to think ‘i did it i did it.’ But in truth, only now I realize, She did everything for me. She was there when nobody was there. I think the scars I earned in my life put me forever in Her favour. Through all that, I had daily arguments and fights with Her in my puja. Always my pujas used to be high emotional drama scenes! Still, I know She gave me double promotion that showed the world (or my naysayers) that I NEVER WAS ALONE, SHE HAS ALWAYS BEEN WITH ME. Remember those long lonely years mentally, alienated from everyone, belonging nowhere, suffering humiliations, not having a support system …. then finally things began falling into place like in a jigsaw puzzle. Imagine, I was someone who did not even know that a tantrik practice called Sri Vidya existed. Not even until 2020-21. But after Amma entered my life, Lalitha Sahasranama has been part of me right from 1993. Now I know how She came for me and not the other way around. She sought me out. She reached out to me. Without knowing what was happening, I clutched that hand of Hers tight. All I know is this much: I don’t know what tantra or mantra you have to master to get closer to Her. I only know that I AM HER DAUGHTER AND HAS ALWAYS BEEN UNDER HER SHADOW even though I did not realize it until very recently. She is the only Mother’s lap I know of. She is the only Mother’s home I have. Durga Ma is the strength of the weakest and the most vulnerable. She is the boldness of the hesitant. She is the power of the emaciated. She can transform lives. My Lalitha did. For me typically, I remember standing weeping as an orphan before Ma Durga in Valleeshwara temple in Mylapore. Without direction. Not knowing what to do with life. It was 1993. Soon someone introduced me to Lalitha Sahasranama. There were not even many audio cassettes or printed books in those days. I did one mandala 48 days. In 3 months time I was married to a good man and into a good family. Even then I didn’t give Her credit for changing the course of my life. As I said, it took me years and years to realize how She planned every single step of my life. For me what probably worked was, crying to Her all the time, not having a shoulder to lean on to. Not having someone to confide in. Not having someone to go home to. I turned to Her because all other avenues were closed for me. I chose HER over other comforting and inviting options. Not that I was very spiritual ever. I rate myself as a mediocre devotee only. I know my limitations. I question even Her. Always arguments with Her. But I would tell Her in the end, ‘can I afford to walk away from you. Who do I have other than you.’ After my marriage, my life was secured, but the humiliations I met with did not stop. For decades I swallowed my shame and self respect and dignity. Slowly She became my strength. My resolve. My confidence. My oasis. My comfort. That is what She became for me. My one and only refuge. My one and only HOME. I honestly don’t know what it is to have your own mother’s home to go to. I don’t know father’s love. I don’t know what it is to have an extended family and good support system. She became all that for me. I have related my experiences of how She has showed me in various instances how She is my Mother and how Her abode be it Kollur or Thirumeeyarchur or Chottanikara or wherever is my Home.
Because of Her I stopped seeking approval. I stopped wanting to belong. I liked it this way: just Me and Her.
This is why I don’t subscribe to any formula for awakening. None of the text book formulas worked for me. I don’t belong to any of those categories. How it worked, only She knows. Sometimes it is possible for some of us, to be in a crowded room and still feel most lonely. I think, may be we should do our duties – be it carrying out our share of domestic responsibilities (being grihastas living loukik life) or whatever we can by way of spiritual practices like puja, pilgrimage etc and also be generous, kind and understanding or more empathetic. That’s what I would recommend for spiritual aspirants (as if anyone is asking for my advice). Do your duty and leave the rest to God, as Krishna says. She knows when to open your third eye.
Problem with many shishyas is that, they are steeped in hypocrisy; are quick to judge; practise bias at every level in life from caste and religion to social status, work place hierarchy etc. Even gender bias exists which is unfortunately tolerated and is not viewed as a problem. My personal view is that, we have to rise above pettiness. Here is where empathy enters the scene. Earlier i used to be very judgmental. Now I try to understand others’ point of view and others’ way of life itself.
I am not qualified to talk on this subject. Just a few things I thought, that put me in a different league than my other spiritual aspirant friends. I never aspired to their level!
Gurujis insist on mantra japa counts. Who am I to refute them. They know better. I am merely stating my case. I don’t think I have much count of anything. I began my sadhana journey only 4 years back in 2022. I am not the textbook corollary. Not that I have achieved anything substantial in life. Yet even this is more than what I bargained for. I want to jump and dance and scream of What Ma Lalitha has made it possible for me – celebrating Her gifts. But i will try to tone down my enthusiasm. I may be forgiven my initial euphoria I guess! Everyone must follow his/her Guru to the word. Very important. The gurus are all Her. Its a blessing to be the shishya of a truly realized guru.
Now I am in total surrender to Her. Whatever She does, She knows. I leave things to Her.
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I am addicted to Muruganin Marupeyar Azhagu by Ranjani Gayathri. I have not yet received mantra for Subrahmanya. Yet, I get some Muruga vibes. Months back He appeared like Batu Caves Murugan for a minute in my vision. After that I drew a blank. Understandable as I am not chanting this moola mantra or mantra japa. But in Navavarna Puja conducted by our mandali last week, during Brahmaneeya, I was surprised to have this vision of a peacock in black & white (my visions are in black & white only) strutting with its long tail behind it gently. Only the outline was visible and the view was back view. Lord Muruga/Subrahmanya/Karthikeya/Skandha whatever name you may call Him by, arrived finally with or without mantropadesha for me!
Today being friday, its been a typical long day of puja for me. Puja, cooking all these consumed my day. Whole day today was Varahi’s. She dominated my visions thoroughly. Interestingly I have not received mantra for Ma Varahi either. Yet She is coming on to me for last few days very strongly.
Just now I sat before my laptop to listen to some carnatic classicals to unwind and relax. Closed my eyes for a minute. There was the silhouette of this black peacock perched on my study table, then on bed everywhere, reminding me that its time to listen to RaGa’s Muruganin Marupeyar Azhagu. Its such a blessing to know Mururga’s heart. Its no surprise that not just me, even He is addicted to this rendition in His praise. There is simply no carnatic classical music without bhakthi. Bhakthi was the base for the very founding of Carnatic music from Ramayana times when even Ravana was an accomplished Veena player.
What did I do to even deserve for this blessing from my Lord, the second son of Lord Shiva and warlord of Ma Lalitha Tripura Sundari. I have been chanting sKanda Shashti Kavacham since my childhood but not on daily basis. We are originally a family of Muruga devotees. My maternal grandfather (i have blogged about him a lot) died on Krithika star day. In those days, i mean in 70s and 80s in my memory, he used to ride in his Bajaj scooter to Tiruporur Murugan temple for every krithika star day. That as about 40-60 km distance. In those days, it was considered very long and tiring one. At thaat time there was no OMR road or barely it was like a village kucha road, unpaven mostly. This is our family Kuladeivam temple from mother’s side where our parents married. Inf act first head tonsure for me was here. Recently I deposited a hair sample from my granddaughter here in the temple hundi as offering to Lord Muruga, our mother’s side kuladeivam. Only after abhishegam there on krithika day would my grandfather return home to have lunch and he never missed a single krithika rain or shine. He donated most of his property to upkeep of Murugan temples in the city and to Ramakrishna mission. He passed away not surprisingly on a Krithika star day. So Muruga connection is not surprising in my case. I have pulled golden chariot at Kandakottam, in Mint, with my thatha, in my late teens.
Our deities never forget anything. Two years back visited Tiruchendur, for the second or third time in my life. Except for Marudhamalai, i have been to other shrines of Arupadai veedu. I keep going to Vadapalani Murugan temple in the city, but very rarely. In fact as we had no custom of celebrating shashtiabdapurthi, we booked for an abhishegam there last year and exchanged garlands in Murugan sannadhi on the D day.
Ok Murugan is waiting. I have to listen to his song along with Him. How blessed are Ranjani Gayathri. I don’t know whether they will even believe if I tell them this. I am having visions of deities only in last 6 months. My spiritual aspirations took a giant leap early this year with my ‘awakening’ happening.
Ok can’t keep Him waiting. Peacock is here, i have to go!
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It was sheer bliss listening to this beautiful hearty song with none other than Karthikeya Himself. As the song played, the black peacock silhouette became more hazy but the peacock opened its feathers encircling a small boy whose back side alone was visible. He had hairstyle like how gods have (as we see in pictures!), there was a hint of a small crown and his panchakachcha like dhoti was upto his knee level. I saw the posterior of Lord Muruga – the boy.
But that was light night. This morning the peacock was back and has been throughout wandering within the small space of my home. Finally Lord Murugu Himself gave a hazy darshan. And this time He was a young man, not a boy-child.
Today happens to be Purattasi shanivar. We celebrate Lord Balaji/Venkateshwara of Tirumala-Tirupathi. I made akkaravadisal and vada for Him. This morning was surprised to have a vision of Lord Narasimha, whose devotee I am not and whose mantra I am not chanting. Stunned and couldn’t react or feel anything. Took me by complete surprise.
Om Namo Narayanaya. Om Shri Saravana Bhavaaya namaha.
You know people may think I am going nuts. Thankfully, my spiritually elevated friends share the same wavelength and have similar experiences. With years rolling, most of my friends/acquaintances have dropped out of my life. Now who remain are high vibrational people alone – and THEY UNDERSTAND. That’s what matters. But even that doesn’t matter. I don’t feel the need to convince anyone of anything or to prove a point. I want a record of things that’s all. In fact I am recording only a tiny percentage of my divine experiences and vibes. If someone can benefit out of this, then it would have served double purpose.
Last 2 days, this instagram inspired crime story is making rounds in local media. It is stale news how women/young girls are sacrificing their personal details/family information etc., for the sake of a few (hundred) likes and instant fame through reels. The adulation goes to their heads. They actually start believing that they are mini celebrities by their own right. One week if they are off air, they will be forgotten and even replaced without a trace, fact they seem blind to.
Already over 10 years back I have seen a girl, pretty young and also an influencer already (I am not sure if the word was then in usage) promoting brands of apparels etc., apart from posting instagram videos (not sure if reels existed then). Her style pictures were hot hits and she had lakh of followers. Yet from a distance I knew about her and I knew everything she was doing was fake. One day probably after 3-4 years of this unreal routine, reality hit her. Because she woke up, closed her account and withdrew from social media. She was also simultaneously posting in facebook then. Whatever could be the reason for her sudden absence, NOBODY BOTHERED. This is the truth about her. I am sure the hometruth hit her too. Not a single friend in social media wondered about her. Probably some old friends did within their circles. Out in the social media, simply nobody spoke about her. Soon she was forgotten. Later I learnt she went into depression. Why depression hits someone young, beautiful, healthy, successful, rich, with lakhs of fans following? The banality and absurdity of it all probably sank in finally in the girl.
After that I left (whatever little) social media myself. In last one or two days, was shocked to come across this instagram inspired crime in Chennai when the girl gave away too much information posting self-videos, thousands of pictures, etc., etc., as reels in instagram. Not only in instagram, even in you tube I am watching videos of women posting their daily routine – from making filter coffee in the morning to doing pujas and cooking for family and even include their children in the videos. This is absolutely shocking. Children especially MUST NOT BE exposed. They need to grow up in secure environs. For a few likes in instagram, how can young mothers sacrifice the privacy of their little girls and boys.
There are women who post their cooking recipes. There are women who post their artistic creations like kolams, rangolis, sewing, crocheting, etc., etc. There are women who post their speeches, club activities, sporting activities, achievements like treks, hikes etc. But what makes some post their entire home videos including family time on you tube and in insta reels. When you have nothing else to talk about, you talk about self. Family is sacred. Why should children have to bear the cost of these women’s careless actions.
The influencer who narrated the story said, the instagram reels ‘inspired’ a group of men, first time criminals, to engage in crime after they repeatedly watched the reels of the said woman. He even said, the videos posted were provocative and inviting trouble. I can’t completely agree with him. That is never an invitation for anyone to feel free to commit a crime. The soul decency must lie with an individual first. Still, we have to remember that we live in a very unfair world where discrepancies exist in every quarter. Even if you have much to flaunt, lie low, play it down. The helplessness some may feel at their own inability and miserable existence may force them to take out their wrath on the privileged ones.
Reels is a DISEASE. Women doing online business can use it their advantage. Unless you are selling a product or in any other type of broadcast with a specific purpose, what is the need for posting reels. All said I do watch the reels posted mostly by women selling garments online. That is the reel I like most. Since I am not using insta or fb, I don’t know what women are posting there now exactly but I get the idea.
I am an ardent Shaktha devotee. But for years now or perhaps decades, I also read 1 chapter from Sundara Kandam, Valmiki Ramayana (tamil version), every saturday if and whenever possible. This is a custom from my childhood. Until my mother was around, we read Ramayana as family, 1 chapter each, every saturday. Every season we began, my mother offered vada, payasam etc., to the lord for neivedyam. Similarly on closing on the last chapter, we invited people to feast at home. May be in an year we did 3-4 cycles like this. I merely am continuing this tradition.
Hanuman we worship for Karya siddhi. To attain a specific goal. I have done that before. But now I tell Ram and Hanuman and Sita and Lakshmana, I read Sundara Kandam for mere pleasure. Earlier I have had an ‘experience’ kind of thing with eternal bachelor Hanuman. After that I wisened up. In our family (in my husband’s side), the only vratham we observe is Anantha Vratham for Maha Vishnu. In fact it is coming up later this week. For decades now, I have also been observing Satya Narayan puja every pournami, but just the pushparchana. This too, i do only if and when it is possible.
Barring that the normal Purattasi observance for Lord Balaji we do. Of course as south Indians, we are obsessed with Tirupathi Balaji. We have all done head tonsures in the hill temple. Done even for my son. Going to Tirumala Tirupathi used to be an annual ritual in my family. In fact my parents were probably under impression that, family holiday meant going to temples in other towns! That’s the only vacation we ever took as family!
But thanks to my chithi and chithappa who are no more, I had the blessings of climbing up once the 7 hill of Tirumala on foot. In that teen age it took me 4 hours. We were a group of relatives visiting the hill temple. My aunt and uncle also made me do ‘angapradakshan’ (rolling with your body around the temple prahara/sanctum) for Tirupathi Balaji in my teens. It was december cold and we had to take a dip in the temple tank ‘Pushkarini’ before queuing up outside the temple by 3 am or so. We were allowed in by 4 am or so and we did that angapradakshan soaked in wet clothes. Both these feat I cannot redo today. At that time I was irritated with my aunt and uncle for making me do all this to show my devotion to Lord Venkateshwara. I am not sure whether I even had the right devotion then for doing it all. In those days we never argued. We followed whatever elders told us. I blindly did what my aunt and uncle asked me to do. Now I can’t thank them in the heavens, for what they made me do.
It takes years and years before the ice breaking, before you can pick up ‘signs’ from any deity.
For me, even if my ishta devta is Lalitha Maha Tripura Sundari, finally there are signals even from Srinivasa, whose abode is the 7 hills of Tirumala-Tirupathi.
I made the connection only in last few days. 10 days back or so, a huge garudan (hawk/eagle) appeared in my early morning dream out of nowhere. There was a chick nearby but it was perched somewhere closer to me. I did not feel uncomfortable by its sight. I was curious in my dream about this hawk. The eagle/hawk is the vehicle of Lord Vishnu.
Then 10 days or so back again, a huge gorilla appeared in my dream again,In this one it was seen eating basundhi or jelebi, I am not sure. In my mind that morning I was offering that sweet to my Divine Mother! That same evening Hanuman is showing that He too likes jelebi. Jelebi is made with urad dal, which is his favourite!
Signs like these from Hanuman/Balaji are appearing in last few months. For years and years I went without any sign.
On my ‘awakening’ I see that there is a lot of response to our prayers. All I can say is that, if you take one step forward towards your deity, He/She will take two steps towards you. Most of us can’t see that. A few of us can realize this, that’s all.
No prayer goes waste as I am discovering. Many don’t remember their dreams. Many cannot add 2 plus 3 to arrive at 5. Most fail to connect the dots. Otherwise response is there for everyone. Generally a majority miss to pick up the signs that’s all. A few of us are alert enough not to miss the signals.
Jai Shriraam! Jai Hanuman!
Received a heartbreaking news of a friend’s daughter who was also a friend, passing away. Too young to die. Bright, bubbly and vivacious, this go-getter girl was like a born leader. She lit up the space with her happy-go-lucky charisma and was popular figure in the international toastmasters’ fraternity, Doha. Born and brought up in Doha, educated in the UK & US, she hardly had time to touch bases with Chennai, her hometown. Her career was going upswing as well as she was financial analyst or whatever. She couldn’t have had it better. Never a dull moment for her. Destiny planned it that she breathed her last in Doha, the city she loved the most. 33 I guess. single, she collapsed just like that and passed away sending friends and family into total shock. I am myself unable to stop thinking about what the parents must be going through. They are family friends of everyone literally. Popular people. Generally this family used to be upbeat, cheerful always, posting happy pictures in social media, celebrating anniversaries and birthdays with fanfare, and sharing holiday pictures. Picture postcard family times. This sweet girl and the family probably never saw a sad day. Until today that is. I have no words of consolation for the parents. I wonder how the family can even take this loss. The bestest get plucked first, don’t they. Although friends, we weren’t very close. But all friends’ daughters are like my own daughters. I used to tell Swetha to remember me and send invite for her wedding. In fact, after we left Doha for good, I once asked my hubby whether she was married already. May be a month or so back. I waited years for her to get married. We were in TM for years but because of our age gap, there was a little distance between us. The younger girls hung out together nationality no bar. She was new blood and she was enthusiastic. She went places and made us all proud. What a shame losing such a young spirited person to fate, so early. Om Shanthi. Never in a million dreams I thought I would be writing this about you Swetha.
People have normal days, special days. Difference blurred for me months earlier.
Today I heard this REAL LIFE STORY. Happened just a day or two earlier. A group of women had arranged for Soundarya Lahari recitation in a Kali temple, by month end. For whatever reason, one of the ladies changed the programme to Bhajans. Her argument was probably that, Lahari is not for simpletons. Bhajans are more common. While she was in her puja, Ma Kali Herself visited her and gave her a piece of HER mind I believe. ‘Soundarya Lahari is what I WANTED to listen to! Who are you to change the subject!’ Shaken, the organizer restored the original plan!
People don;t realize, how deities can be REALIZED at times. The line to the fourth dimension is barely visible. With right devotion/bhakthi and previous/present good karma, we could be crossing the line without knowing. Yoga/meditation is the key. Someone who related to me this incident used to question me about my own awakening. Now finally she believes that I have not been hallucinating and that I don’t need psychological counselling! I told her my day today is with BALA GANAPATHY. He is such a charming boyhood Ganesha. Imagine having a darshan of Him! I dont; know what is my previous janam karma. Of course now I am learnng to enjoy the bliss by myself. People may think I have gone nuts. I woke up to Ma Varahi by my bedside (only face) 2 days back. In the middle of the night in between sleep, I spotted Lord Bhairav in dog form looking at me. Contented that I was being looked after, I went back to sleep peacefully. Right through the day, I am living in a different world. I am seeing different things that normal human beings don’t.
And then for relaxation I come to my laptop. Open the you tube. I am disappointed to see how people NEVER grow up. My world, my reality is changed reality. Not only that, my world is filled with not just the satwik deities like Lakshmi and Lalitha Maha Tripura Sundari. It also has Varahi, Kali, Bhairav who are all fierce deities. I recently thought someone cheated me on something. In my mind, I was questioning that’s all. I did not confront that person. Later I learnt that the person suffered a health issue enduring tremendous pain. Immediately it rang a bell. Now my fervent prayer to my devtas is that, they don’t have to do any harm to anyone to defend me. I am perfectly fine. Its okay, i am willign to forgive and forget. I don’t harbour vengeance. But please, don’t harm anyone for my sake! Frankly this is also part of my prayer these days. Otherwise I try not ot seek anything personally or materialistic from my deities. I am writing this to show, to what extent our devtas can go protecting us once we come under their wings.
Imagine waking up to your Ishta devtas, having a devta vision in the day, your mind being filled by your sacred deity visions and your mind being preoccupied by those divine visions. Although gurus advise us not to dwell on visions as they are mere distractions, you still know its such a blessing. This life of mine is such a blessing. I am living in a totally different world that nobody can understand.
Today went out and tried to get a kurta done by my designer. I too still want life to have some normal semblance. I cook, watch tv, shop, mildly gossip – try as much as possible to lead a normal familial life like everyone else – and like how I was until this march. But i know inbetween something changed. The old me is gone. While I may not be the Ramana Maharishi material, at least I am no more the one I was until the year beginning. I was in a gathering yesterday. I could picture a top floor lay out and spot 2 doggies there. But when I went up, I saw that their floor plan was different. I am sure my vision is correct, but may be it was one of those neighbourhood houses. Imagine being with friends, but being flooded with visions that they will be shocked to hear about. They are laughing, chatting, clicking pictures – but I go quiet and recede to a corner as I am flooded with visions. I am preoccupied with my own new world of reality. I pose for pictures, say hi to everyone, spoon the food and make my way back home, eager to get away. The thought of missing my mantra japa is what is my greatest botheration.
As for Bala Ganapathy, the boy form of Lord Ganesha, He is adorable, such a cutie. I hug Him with whole of my heart and purest love. He is gentle and sweet and compassionate and naughty just like any human kid. Huggie! The pranks He has played with me! My awakening indeed was kicked off by none other than this brat Bala Ganapathy. He was the first and foremost to arrive on the scene!
I want to express immense gratitude to all my devtas, deities who grace me with their divine visions. It makes me want nothing more out of life. It makes me feel grateful for the gifts I have received unasked for in life.
You tube with its political news, musical videos etc., serves as a good distraction to me. I think its healthy for me to take my mind off for a little while away from my divine preoccupations. It acts like a recharger point for me frankly. I feel refreshed watching the videos.
Finally, the one who related to me the Kali story today said, she does not want to be ‘awakened!’ ‘You need to be brave and bold for that’ she said. So that’s what I became. Divine Mother will give you the mental strength and courage that you need at this point, being by your side and guiding you always. When Divine Grace is with you, what more you need in life.
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I wrote this late last evening. This morning being friday, I gave the ritualistic abhishegam to the few vigrahas I have in puja. One is a Meru that is energized from homams etc. As I gave the Meru a soak in lemon water, Ma Varahi’s face appeared. Later I put a vilvam leaf in the crystal Shiva Lingam, very little one that I got from Kashi/Varanasi. When I lit the panchamukh diya and closed my eyes for a min, i saw a Shiva Lingam materialize in my vision in the place of the diya. It was there for close to a minute. I enjoyed the darshan. It was so considerate on part of our Universal Father to grace me with His darshan. Why should I think about my biological parents of one birth. My universal father and mother are with me in every birth of mine. I merely thanked Him for being there. For His blessings. Nothing more.
Again, I don’t know what I did to deserve these divine darshans/visions. They are not my imaginations or dreams or hallucinations or whatever. There are proper VISIONS. Like a slide put in before your eyes. Only those who have them can realize how visions can happen. THANK YOU DIVINE GRACE for the blessings.
Had no idea, they made a picture out of Neem Karoli Baba’s life story. India has millions of gurus. Although I am familiar with some, like most others I miss out on a majority of the ‘REALIZED GURUS.’ Neem Karoli Baba is one such guru who Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg etc., were drawn to. Guru was already gone by then it seems. But the aura of siddha purushas, we believe, may remain around for a 1000 years. In their own way, these men who descended upon his temple, spending months (in the case of Steve Jobs) in his ashram/India, had come with a mission (or had a defined birth purpose) that they fulfilled. Planning to watch the flick if its on Netflix. Hope they don”t spoil it. I don’t know of his life history. But have heard people say, he is Hanuman reincarnation. World is full of gurus today doing podcasts. Finding the right one is the key. While over a majority of them may not be themselves realized gurus (or the enlightened ones themselves) and some being fake/money minded, it is very important to get the right guru for our spiritual progress.
WANTED ONLY DIVINE POSITIVE ENERGY.
WANTED POSITIVE ENERGY AND PROTECTION FROM MA LALITHA MAHA TRIPURA SUNDARI
WANTED PROTECTION FROM PANCHA MUKHA HANUMAN
WANT ONLY DEIVIK POSITIVE ENERGY
ONLY POSITIVE DIVINE ENERGY
IS MA LISTENING. IS MA LALITHA MAHA TRIPURA SUNDARI LISTENING.
