I don’t know whether I am in complete surrender to Ma Lalitha Tripura Sundari, but when I read a chapter in Sundara Kandam (Valmiki Ramayana Tamil version) every saturday, I tell Rama, still Ma Lalitha is my primary Mother goddess! When I do a simple pushpaarchana for ashtotra to Satya Narayana for Pournami, I tell Him, still my first devotion is only to Ma Lalitha. When I read a chapter in Sai Satcharitra every thursday, I tell Baba, but then my Ishta Devta is Lalitha Parameshwari only. Friends give remedies, try to introduce new rituals, ask me to go here and there, suggest various shlokas for different powerful deities, but then nobody/nothing has been able to dislodge my Lalitha who took over my heart 33 years back. She just won’t budge! Aadi velli or Thai velli, it does not matter. For me tuesdays and fridays mean diya puja with which I am obsessed! Unless I am sick or out of town, I try not to miss it because I know Ma keeps waiting for me. So day is complete and fulfilling when my pujas are done to my satisfaction.
Secondly I was missing my kitchen that I delegated to a hired cook. Took possession again this week and back to cooking. Hubby is relieved because I don’t have to hit the gym for 2 reasons: NO TIME, THEN AUTOMATIC FITNESS FROM STANDING IN KITCHEN FOR HOURS AND WORKING WITH HANDS! These men! Within a couple of days I could see how much oil was generously used along with spices and how careless the work was. I don’t blame hired helps. They are professionals in a hurry and it is NOT THEIR HOME OR KITCHEN. Why should they bother. Healthy food is on the mind of us wives only, not our cooks.
After a few months switched back to my mode of cooking:
For breakfast Payaru idli, peanut chutney
For lunch: seeraga samba pongal with kathirikkai gotsu
For dinner: phulkas (atta with millet flour) with same kathirikkai gotsu
I did not know that I would be missing my own cooking so much hahaha!
Watched half a good picture in Netflix retro one after a good puja.
This week visited Thirunindravur where I happened to witness Garuda Sevai of Bhakthavasala Perumal on the occasion of Gajendra Moksham on Aadi Pournami day. This kshetra is one of the 108 Divya Desam temples. I think I have visited quite a few Divya Desam temples. I don’t keep count. Similarly been to quite a few ‘Padal petra stalams’ among the 276 or so ancient Shiva temples in Tamil Nadu where hyms were sung by the nayanamars. Closeby there also were 2 ancient temples, Eri Katha Ramar (Rama who saved the lake) and Hridayaleeshwara temple (Shiva temple for curing heart disease). Poosalai Nayanaar, one of the 64 nayanmaars of Shaiva Tamil tradition, built a Shiva temple exactly in this spot in his heart while the king built a huge granite temple. Both held Kumbabhishegam for the temple on the same day and Shiva attended Poosalai Nayanaar’s Hridhaya (heart) temple function, skipping the king’s, impressed by his devotion. Blessed darshan in these temples that are so close to Chennai. So that’s what I did on Guru Purnima day!
A day is well spent when you connect to family abroad at least on phone, do a good puja, meditate, cook well and eat well and relax well. I wish I could fit in some fitness routine. But any little time spent on fitness in the mornings will affect my cooking and puja. This is why I wanted a cook. Anyway, people’s careless work gets on my nerves. I wonder how people manage with a battalion of househelps and cooks. I just can’t I found out recently. Rounding off the day with a little online reading and music will be ideal. Let me try! (In near future, have to try to fit in at least Yoga at home/in a class or gym in the afternoons).
Recently traveling by air conditioned chair car in Tejas between cities, we found our expected joyful ride turning into a miserable one. Reason: Lack of etiquette in our fellow passengers. Almost everyone around us was on phone and shouting at the top of their voice. Compared to other trains, Tejas and Vande Bharat make least noise. The hum of the a/c was also inaudible. The rural scene was unfolding in front of our eyes through the glass windows. But our ears got pierced with screeching sounds from all sides, with men and women talking loudest into their phones. Decibels kept rising and hitting the roof and soon I could make out distinct families from phone conversations and family members by names and their relationships. Their current problems made me sympathize with them! Many reel stories were floating around. In between there were one or two business calls by hapless men who tried to work online in all that senseless noise generated by the passengers.
We Indians don;t just lack civic sense; we also lack certain etiquettes. From dancing in Vietnam airport to interfering in others’ internal matters, we don’t shy away from committing the worst ethical crimes.
Invading others’ privacy seems to run in our blood, stamped in our DNA. Watching surreptitiously other men’s wives hacking and stacking online to getting curious about others’ livelihood and earnings, there is not a thing we don’t seem to cross boundaries about.
Day train seems to give us headache really. We take CC to cut travel time as these are superfast trains. But the nightmare of being forced to listen to nonstop nonsense conversations by fellow passengers into their phones is making us wonder whether we should safely opt for sleeper berths opting for night time travel in trains. We are not the kind to tune to music over headphones. Impossible to read a book in this climate. In short, fellow Indians with their poorest etiquettes make our train travel experiences into horrible trips.
I will keep this post for just a few days and then return it to drafts.
Three months back I ‘awakened.’ But the signs were there from the year starting. Frankly speaking, the signs were there for last 2 years that I failed to reckon. I got my awakening in Arizona in thE US this year when visiting my son’s family. Taken by total surprise. Because even though I am an ardent Shakthi devotee and I have been asking HER for Her divine grace, I wasn’t quite expecting Her benevolence right in this janam. Before my awakening I had a dream. In that, Ma Lalitha came as a 8 to 10 year old girl and told me, She was ‘Brahma Lalitha.’ It was midnight hour. I woke up and asked Her if it was indeed Her. Immediately an anti-theft safety siren went up from the parking lot for a couple of minutes, its sound deafening at that night time. My awakening then picked up steam and I started having visions by mid March.
Unbelievable, all my deities who I worship gave me darshan in my visions – from Lord Ganesha to Surya, Shiva, Bala everyone. The most beautiful was Kamakshi of Kanchi. I didn’t even know whether I deserved it. My ‘high vibrational’ friends told me, its not just this janma’s pujas, its also my good karma plus my previous janams’ combined karma plus ancestral karma that did it for me. I don’t want to mention here my OTHER visions apart from the darshan of my deities.
After a couple of weeks on awakening, I started experiencing ‘blocks’ in my visions. My guru clarified that, as you climb higher in the spiritual path, it is natural to encounter ‘blocks’ because, every effort will be taken to discourage you and turn you away from God. The blockages meant, I was in the right track.
But something extraordinary still happened inspite of the blockages. I had had first a vision of Kaligambal of the Chennai temple in the first occasion. I went with my friends to Prathyangira temple in Sholinganallur. Here in front of Badra Kali, I chanted Durga Saptashloki aloud. Then I closed my eyes for a few minutes and whispered the Kali Gayatri may be 5 times or so. In my vision rose Ma Kali from out of fire, some 2 storeys tall, like in Vishwaroopam, tall, dark, eyes gleaming, her tongue out, and hair falling down long long behind Her back. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Kali Ma broke all barriers in my vision imposed by the evil Maya and came out to bestow upon me Her Divine Grace. I prayed for everyone. I got humbled. In that moment, I was not emotional. It felt so natural to me. I was not scared. I remembered the night I wanted Kali Ma to stay away – in the US. She came on very strongly and I was not prepared at that time both mentally and physically. Yet She would not stop and made me come to Her in Chennai. Even as I type this tears form in my eyes.
What is there to fear Her? I am dark and dusky and so is my Mother. In online content, they say She is more feared. Do we have it in us to handle Her energy? I really don’t know but to me She looked the most compassionate mother. She is a lovely energy. In my puja one or two days back I was thinking of Her. Immediately there came a cow mewing sound ‘maaa.’ There are many ways She lets me know She is there watching me all the time. When She stood 20-30 feet superimposing before me, I never felt scared. I was in awe but I felt most natural – as if it was routine for me to be visualizing Kali Ma like that. Since She came out of fire, I believe She must be Smashana Kali, the fiercest of all. Yet, She seemed most compassionate to me and did not instill even an ounce of fear in me.
I have done nothing wrong. May be that’s also a reason. I have a clear conscience. Further they say Kali Ma will humble you. Already She has humbled me right from my teens. What more dignity is there for me to lose. She broke everything to bring me to this point. Kali Ma is also within Ma Lalitha Tripura Sundari, the ultimate.
May be because of the obstacles I crossed in my life, both Kala Bhairava and Ma Kali have come to me without invitation. They hover very close to me I know and I have their protection. I heard once a guruji say in you tube that, if you fought many battles in life and won, then the ugraha devtas have attraction for you. In my visions, what all I have seen both positive and negative in last 3 months, I cannot post here at all. One thing I understood after visiting a non-Agama temple where I had visions. That was just last month on my return from the US. God is not only for us the bodied and living humans. I don’t want to elaborate more than that. Spiritual growth is a painful process. My reality is now totally altered. You don’t know who I am dealing with now – day and night. And if you think I am talking about humans, well… so be it. No, I am not on dope, I am not hallucinating, I am not depressed and I am definitely not lying or faking or exaggerating. I just AWAKENED and I am seeing in the present what one may see after one’s passing into the next world.
Yet I know I am only in the KG and I have higher-ups in front of me from high school to graduate and doctorate levels. Yeah, Ma Lalitha just dropped me into my playschool/nursery and I am this bit nervous little kid to be left alone like this even though I know Mother is keeping a watch over me from a distance.
My Mother Ma Lalitha Maha Tripura Sundari gave me this unexpected promotion in life. From here She will take me through. With time, I will clear the blockages and have once again access to my devtas. I wanted to mention about Ma Kali – and how She literally breaks through the blockages in your spiritual path to reach out to you as She did with me. Now I am focusing only on Divine Mother and Her positive energy consigning the rest to dust bin of my mind.
How easily my reality changed one fine day – takes me by total surprise. Just like that I crossed an invisible line into the 4th dimension. Until then I had only heard about these stories and experiences. Never did I think that I was next in line to cross over!
No doubt we retired for good to Chennai with the arrival of Ma Kali in my life. Exactly as my awakening was beginning to happen, my husband made a decision to retire altering our lives. We had 5 more years of work in Doha. Over the last few years, before I took up Shakthi Upasana, Ma Lalitha now I understand broke several cords for me and alienated me. Two years back I lost 12-13 kg as I regained my health. I never knew I was being ‘prepared’ for this promotion. Friends were concerned about my weight loss. Last 4-5 years, small small miracles were starting to happen – something that could not be termed mere coincidences.
Ma Kali with a bang cut so much negativity already from my life. A lot of self assessment is now happening within me. A lot of fine tuning is happening. I won’t be discouraged by negative videos. I KNOW WHO I SAW IN MY VISION. I HAVE HAD MA KALI’S DIVINE GRACE. I AM UNDER MA KALI’S PROTECTION. That is enough for me.
What for we need wealth or power or beauty or fame. I am more than satisfied. Not a trillion dollars can buy what I have had. I am not saying this out of excess pride. I am meaning what I am saying. I will not bargain this life of mine with anything – any material wealth or whatsoever in this world. From here where I shall go -= I don’t know. But already I am overwhelmed that even my guru cautions that I should not stop at this stage. I have achieved nothing yet. I don’t mean to stop either. Now 24 hours even when I brush and bathe and walk and cook and travel, Amma is only in my mind. Losing interest in everything otherwise. The daily motions of life such as dressing up, conversing, going out, watching pictures – all this is only the external mindless activities of mine. Behind all this keeps running Her nama 24 hours a day – including in my sleep. I rise with Her and go to sleep with Her.
Om Shri Matre Namaha. Jai Kali Ma!
WANTED ONLY POSITVE ENERGY
WANTED ONLY DEIVIGA SHAKTHI
BIG NO TO ANYTHING NEGATIVE
NO NEGATIVE ENERGY
ONLY DIVINE GRACE. ONLY DIVINE ENERGY OF MA LALITHA TRIPURA SUNDARI.
ONLY DIVINE GRACE OF MA LALITHA TRIPURA SUNDARI WANTED IN HOME, LIFE, MIND.
They cannot understand your silence, your quiet, your sudden loss of interest in anything and everything. They unanimously suggest counseling, therapy, sleeping pill not having an iota of knowledge of what is happening within you. Or how you are transforming. One question I would ask fellow humans is that, can they imagine a new colour. A shade that has never been. Those who are ‘awakened’ probably invented a new colour! Just kidding, this is my way of trying to explain to anyone who has no idea about what they are talking about.
In this phase the awakened need kindness, understanding, maturity in those around, and just a quiet companionship without a word. Those ‘awakened’ are entering the 4th and higher dimensions. In other words, they are of higher consciousness now. Their reality gets changed forever. Whatever they believed to be the reality up until that moment, they realize, is a big, big illusion (or simulation if you want to use the quantum physics term). In short, what cannot be found by even the x ray machines and metal detectors can become visible to those awakened. The Divine Grace is upon them. I really wonder what will the atheists do when they are catapulted to this level overnight. As such I have a high vibrational friend whose spouse used to be an atheist, but on ‘awakening’ he is now under Divine Grace. The enlightened atheists reckon what we normally refer to as ‘deities’ as ‘energy forms.’ To understand more, those who lack information can google ‘chakra meditation’ , ‘kundalini awakening’ , ‘awakening’ (in general). Chakra meditation without a Guru’s guidance is dangerous business.
So naturally the newly awakened may be a lot confused. May even prefer to revert back to old status sometimes because, the illusion or Maya is such a beautiful lie. Comfort level. With awakening, the knowledge or the reality of cosmos bestows a huge responsibility on the shoulders of those whose third eye is springs open. Its not big deal to most of us who live by dharmic means. That is why we are chosen, is it not.
The awakened get aware, this life of theirs is just one of their karmic assignments. Although we Hindus widely believe in reincarnations, for the awakened this is double confirmation. There are different levels of awakening: those who can see past histories of places, others’ lives, future, their own past births, future births, traveling to the cosmos visiting different worlds not necessarily within our solar planetary system (astro travel), leaving the physical body and returning to it (out of body experience), etc., etc. Your level depends on your karmic record. For some, its just the Divine Grace – getting up close to your Ishta devta or deity, which is the best gift of all so far I am concerned.
Awakening is not always an exciting experience. For some of us, its most natural, happening over years or perhaps decades. Nowadays there are gurus who can invoke your Kundalini shakthi just like that with a few sharp and powerful meditative chants. I am not sure if this is correct.
But I can say this much: you cannot even imagine what the awakened see and experience. METACOGNITION – RECOGNITION OF THE META – for me this is the most priceless and beautiful gift I have ever received in this birth (probably last who knows). Its worth all the efforts and hours of puja and meditation/mantra japa and yoga we put in. In my case, I never did all these with a goal. It simply gave me such a happiness to do my pujas and mantra japa. After material prosperity, I found my perceptions changing. I never anticipated however a ‘spiritual promotion’ (if i can call that) frankly. Taken by surprise. But we don’t know what is the criteria for this merit list selection by the Universe. May be those who are ‘chosen’ did something correct.
Next time you come across someone who claims to have ‘awakened’ – please don’t ridicule them. You don’t know what they are seeing in visions and what is their current reality. You are still a happy ignoramus. Good for you.
India is a blessed nation. Blessed to be born a Hindu because, the possibilities for awakening is maximum for Hindu-Buddhists because of our mindset and tranquil nature and peace at heart. A loud mind or a violent society simply have no hope of getting closer to god. They can slaughter a million cows for their Lord and pray for even 50 times a day, no use. God exists in utter silence – between the two breaths of your exhalation. This is where Yoga helps you. Meditation helps you. Pranayama helps you.
I think one criteria that sets apart the awakened could be their soul honesty. I am no expert in these matters but just a guess.
Satyameva Jayate. Loka samastha sukino bavanthu.
Wanted only POSITIVE DEIVEEGA ENERGY. STRICTLY NO NEGATIVE ENERGY. I hope my Divine Mother Lalitha Maha Tripura Sundari will heed to my earnest wishes and make my spiritual journey most enjoyable and fulfilling one for me.
ONLY POSITIVE DEIVEEGA ENERGY
ONLY POSITIVE DEIVEEGA ENERGY
ONLY POSITIVE DEIVEEGA ENERGY
Make me fearless Oh Mother, give me courage, strength both physical and mental to pursue this journey in all confidence.
Ma Lalitha also please dismiss the ‘edhirmarai ennam’ that sometimes crops up in my mind, because I don’t mean them or want them. From where this kind of anti thought springs up I don’t know. This is also a critical step to cross in our spiritual path, I reckon. May I never have the involuntary EDHIRMARAI ENNAM. May all thoughts and visions be only POSITIVE AND DIVINE. WANTED ONLY DIVINE ENERGY. WANTED ONLY POSTIVE ENERGY.
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